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HealthIamA 22-Year-Old Bedwetter That Wears Diapers. AMA!

Feb 27th 2017 by PaddedIntrovert • 29 Questions • 54 Points

Greetings everyone.

Let me be straight with you right off the bat, this is not my first rodeo. But 8 months is a long time and a lot of stuff has happened in Sweden since. (Also you guys have an orange president now? Do you color code your leaders?)

I also figured since certain statements have been made about my country by a certain someone, it might be a good idea to have someone on the inside give his two cents on what is actually going down over here.

I have the whole day free and will gladly answer as many questions as possible.

EDIT: Haha, 76% upvoted? I didn't know my job was so controversial ;)

Q:

Kudos to you for appearing to taking your condition in stride. I hope more people become aware of this issue and become less judgemental about it.

My questions. When did you notice this was a problem, is it treatable/curable and how much pee are we talking about here? Like just a little or enough to worry about Trump knocking at your door in the middle of the night?

A:

Do you ever disguise yourself and just walk around incognito?


Q:

If you could have anyone from history on your show, who would it be?

A:

What was the Chicken Connoisseur like off camera?


Q:

You're having a Baldur's Gate themed costume and pizza party in the Obsidian offices. Who dresses up as which NPC and what exactly is on a Bhaalspawn pizza?

A:

Hi,

1- How does the majority of the swedish population perceive the wave of immigration into Sweden ? Do they have a good or bad opinion about this whole event ?

2- (touchy question) Is it true than most of the crime and rape cases are committed by refugees in Sweden ?

Thank you for your time


Q:
  1. It's been a problem for me since I was a child. I went through Goodnites as a young child like many others.

  2. Right now, I haven't found any medication or specific operation to treat my condition.

  3. The amount of pee? It's more voiding than dribbling. This requires me to find products that are highly absorbent. Depends are a crap brand.

A:

I sometimes wear a hat. For example when I did college tours with my son I wanted the focus to be totally on him. A lot less people recognize me when I have a hat on or else they realize I am trying to be incognito.

Mostly when people do recognize me they are super nice so I don't feel it is a burden to be noticed most of the time.


Q:

Number 1: Flo the Progressive Insurance lady, Number 2: Aristotle

A:

Very chill. He's HUGE in London btw! He got mobbed everywhere we went.


Q:

This question needs to go to the top!

A:
  1. So this is actually quite a difficult question, because you can approach it from multiple angles: Polls, politics and media. Polls are probably the most accurate, but I think there's value in understanding all three.

So polls regularly show two things: There's a significant minority of people in Sweden who are against immigration (Meaning it's not just a fringe group), and there's a majority of people who are against the current volume of immigration. Polls also show that over time there have been less and less people who identify themselves as neutral on the question of immigration. So it's become quite the hot button issue over the years. People are more polarized and the country is more divided than it has been in the past.

How this translates into politics isn't as clear cut. The third biggest party in the country, the Sweden Democrats, are hardline against immigration, and for the longest time they were completely isolated by the other parties. Lately, however, we're seeing the second biggest party, the conservative Moderate party, opening up to the idea of working together with the Sweden Democrats. This has caused fractures within the opposition's conservative coalition, where the more centrist parties are threatening to break away. The political status quo is kind of in an uproar at the moment, so it's hard to predict how everything will look when it all settles down. What is clear is that there are critical views on immigration within parties other than the Sweden Democrats that are coming to light.

Finally, the media, which in many ways mirrors what we're seeing in the US with "alternative news" outlets gaining power. Several syndications have sprung up as of late with ties to anti-immigration organisations (or fully-fledged nazi ones) which challenge the "narrative" of mainstream media that immigration is a net positive for Sweden. These sources are quite obvious in their bias and will only publish material supporting their views (not saying their material is necessarily false, just that it's one-sided). As for the mainstream, they're more balanced than you'd think. There are "investigative journalism" shows that discuss, amongst other things, crime committed by and against refugees, there are regularly op-eds in highly syndicated newspapers that take critical stances on immigration and any statistics you see are often from reputable sources such as the SCB (Department of Statistics). Still you could argue that there is bias, and that wouldn't be surprising. Studies show that people working in journalism disproportionately vote left-of-center compared to the rest of the country. Overall, however, I don't think it's too bad.

  1. It's not true. The Police Department recently released statistics which showed that less than 1% of police dispatches were related to refugees.

It's true that immigrants in general are over-represented in crime statistics, but this has more to do with poverty levels than anything else.


Q:

What if you void yourself before you go to bed or drink less before bedtime? Does that help?

What about during the day? Do you leak unvoluntarily?

A:

If you could give 19 year old Bill Gates some advice, what would it be?


Q:

If you had to pick a successor to your show, who would you pick and why?

A:

Hi Sean, first off can I just say how much I appreciate the amount of research you put into your questions. It's something that is so often overlooked but the effort you and your team invest really makes each episode for me.

My question: Given that it seems the rap industry and food are becoming more connected by the day, which rapper would you have cook for you and what would they make?


Q:

Will there be a romance option for the intelligent weapon?

A:

It's true that immigrants in general are over-represented in crime statistics, but this has more to do with poverty levels than anything else.

In Denmark, just across the bridge, where we have even less immigrants than you but also have statistics that identify the ethnicity of the perpetrator and rinse them for any socioeconomic factors, it shows that MENA immigrants are by far still over-represented in the crime statistics.

Are you better at integrating or are you just not using the statistics the same way, due to the politicial pressure?


Q:

I do try to drink less before bedtime. But I also am 22 and want to live my life. There are times where I've had a substantial amount of alcohol and will have to just make sure I'm wearing enough protection. There's other nights where I try to restrain myself from how much I drink. Times like that require me to make sure I'm not dehydrated, however.

I'm fine during the day. I get sudden urges and have to relieve myself on a somewhat regular basis, but I've never had an accident or leaked involuntarily.

A:

I would explain that smartness is not single dimensional and not quite as important as I thought it was back then. I would say you might explore the developing world before you get into your forties. I wasn't very good socially back then but I am not sure there is advice that would fix that - maybe I had to be awkward and just grow up....


Q:

Mike Pence.

A:

Great question! At First We Feast, we probably think about this more than anyone in the world. Rumor has it Mia X from No Limit is the most underrated hip hop chef of all time and I'm picturing jambalaya and baked macaroni on the table.


Q:

This isn't that kind of game...

A:

We adjust for socioeconomic variables as well, yet we do not seem to have the same results, at least based on the studies I've been reading. I don't think this has to do with political pressure, either.


Q:

What's your drink of choice beer or hard liquor?

A:

What do you personally find as your greatest achievement?


Q:

What has been your favorite game to play on clueless gamer so far, and why?

A:

What is your favorite place for wings?


Q:

You're in Waste Management? So what you're saying it is that you're the Tony Soprano of Irvine?

A:

What tangible benefits, if any, do you think Sweden gets from taking in so many refugees?

This is a very difficult question, because any answer I can give comes with a number of counterpoints.

You could argue that Sweden gets an economic benefit from an increased workforce. The population of ethnic Swedes shrinks every year and a large portion of Swedish citizens get University degrees and work in professions with high demands on skill and knowledge. An injection of people willing to work low-skill jobs can provide a boon for the Swedish economy and stave of stagnation.

On the other hand, the Swedish economy is very advanced, and as such the need for low-skill work is quite small. In the future it might very well shrink even more due to the robotization of manufacturing. Furthermore, what little low-skill work there is is protected by unions and collective bargaining that keeps wages high. As such it might be very difficult to find jobs, and unemployment rises. Studies show that after 7 years of being in the country not even half of refugees have found work.

You could argue that Sweden benefits on a social and cultural level. Multiculturalism can add value to Swedish culture, foster broader sympathy and understanding to foreign cultures and help create a more tolerant society.

On the other hand, Sweden was even before the crisis facing serious issues of segregation. Immigrants flooded into suburban areas with low housing costs as middle-class Swedes moved to more affluent areas. As most are aware, segregation leads to growing social woes, and the issues of the suburbs have expressed themselves with occasional rioting and increased hostility and even violence against police and social workers. These problems will be aggravated by taking in more refugees. The situation isn't help by an unhealthy housing market that keeps prices of houses high.

You could argue that Sweden benefits on a moral level. We provide a shining example of taking in as many as we can no matter the cost, showing human lives outweigh economic costs. We can help spearhead initiatives for more countries to to the same.

On the other hand, the inability of the Swedish government to act in any meaningful way against growing costs and increasing processing times, while also engaging in quite morally hypocritical behaviour such as suddenly guarding its borders after years of doing nothing comparable, has eroded much of the moral fiber of Sweden in the eyes of the world. Countries now point to Sweden as a bad example, a country that wouldn't take necessary measures and now has to pay the consequences. Furthermore, even before the crisis Sweden has been criticized for amongst other things not handling the cases of unaccompanied children with enough sensitivity. Last week Human Rights Watch strongly criticized Sweden for mot prioritizing children enough.

As you can tell, under current circumstances any benefit to Sweden, short- or longterm, is not terribly snificant. That's not to say these issues can't be turned around, but for them to be solved they must first be acknowledged. And to acknowledge these issues means acknowledging that the refugee crisis has a negative impact on the country. The government is unwilling to do this as it might sway public opinion against immigration and lead to a conservative victory next election.

So overall the current situation looks pretty bleak. Sweden needs to confront the truth that there are no easy solutions and try to act in the way that least damages the country. What this course of action would be I do not know, but we'll never find out if we don't actively search for it.

This was asked by someone and you answered from your previous AMA, after 8 months, has there been change? or is 8 months a bit short to comment on change?


Q:

Beer - Blue Moon

Hard liquor - Captain Morgan & Coke

A:

Although the Foundation work is super promising and will be the biggest thing over the decades ahead I still think the chance to be part of the software revolution empowering people was the biggest thing I have gotten to do.

Right now I am very focused on making sure we successfully eradicate polio - that will be amazing if we do it - as good as shipping even the best software product.


Q:

Witcher 3, because I got to have sex on a unicorn. When that game comes out in VR, you'll never see me again.

A:

Wings have been ruined for me.


Q:

More like I have to SING soprano whenever Feargus demands.

A:

Sadly, there has been change, but in a very poor direction.

I mentioned that in order for there to be a solution to the problems Sweden is facing, the government would first have to acknowledge that there are problems. In a way, the political climate in Sweden has changed in that direction, but only on the side of the opposition. The government, however, is as stubborn as before with acting like nothing is going on. Except now it's tried to do something anyway.

Two things have happened in the last 8 months: The Department of Migration has cut funding to all municipalities taking in refugees, and the government has tried to deport Afghan refugees to Afghanistan.

The cut funding is a disaster waiting to happen, because that means several municipalities have to shut down accommodations (did I mention I work at one of them? Yay unemployment!). That means a larger burden on refugees to learn the language, get an education and jump through all the bureaucratic hoops to get permanent residence, and far from everyone can manage that. That will lead to poorer integration and less capable citizens once they are allowed to stay. The country will suffer in the long-term.

As for sending people back to Afghanistan and why that is a staggeringly bad idea, some context: Afghanistan is a very heterogeneous country with a large number of different cultures and tribes. The people who flee Afghanistan are mostly Hazaras, a people who have been violently oppressed in Afghanistan for over a hundred years, most recently by the Taliban. Now, the Swedish government has attempted to strike a deal with the government of Afghanistan were they agree to take in refugees from Sweden. But the idea that the government of Afghanistan could possibly guarantee the safety of Hazara refugees forced to return is questionable at best. The situation is further complicated by the fact that a lot of Hazara refugees have never been to Afghanistan. Many were born in Iran or Pakistan, where they are treated as second-class citizens.

These are the two major things the government has done to combat the rising costs of the refugee crisis. Thankfully, the deal with Afghanistan fell through in the end and Sweden did not start sending people back there, but if that window of opportunity opens again you can be sure the government will pounce on it.


Q:

Depends aren't dependable? What crap branding!

A:

Hello Bill Gates. What is your idea of success?


Q:

Hey Conan, I'm allergic to penicillin, clindamycin, and sulfa-based antibiotics. What type of medicine would you recommend for my next infection?

A:

Is there any possibility you could get Justin Timberlake on your show to interview you?


Q:

When are we gonna see you guys get your hands on the Fallout Franchise again?

A:

This is correct. You need to either actively be searching for jobs (often to the point of absurdity), or a doctor's confirmation (continuously re-checked and updated at regular intervals) that you are incapable of doing so due to reasons of physical or mental health.

Obviously substance abuse is not acceptable. If the subject in question is willing and cooperative in trying to quit and get their life under control that's generally enough, but that too has to be proven.

There's of course a lively debate around this. If memory serves places who have guaranteed these people homes and stability before placing demands on them have had better success. But add to that the severe housing shortage in all of Sweden's cities and it's currently looking pretty grim on that front.

As for mental disorders: If they're not committing a crime or posing a threat to people around them they cannot be forced to seek help. These people generally fall in a category of being able to survive on their own while still being of too poor mental health to take part in society even on the level of getting a doctor's appointment to get so much as a diagnosis much less treatment for their illness.

Basically people fall through the cracks in any system that has cracks, and I've yet to see one that does not. Sweden is no exception.


Q:

I just realized I wrote "2016" instead of "2017" on my 2nd picture. -__-

A:

Warren Buffett has always said the measure is whether the people close to you are happy and love you. It is also nice to feel like you made a difference - inventing something or raising kids or helping people in need.


Q:

You are very wise to ask me. I'm not a doctor. Next time you're not feeling well just bite into a glow stick and suck it down.

A:

That would be the greatest thing that's ever happened to me in my pathetic life.


Q:

Zenimax owns the IP for Fallout, so that is entirely up to them. We'd love to do another Fallout game!

A:

What he said


Q:

I feel you on the separate beds bit, I sleep separately from my husband (he sweats, I snore - it just works better for us to sleep separately)

I guess I am interested in tactful ways of being compassionate and caring to other humans in any regards.

Do you find that upon learning of your situation that people treat you with "kid gloves" or that they're more judgey about as you phrased 'a childhood issue'?

A:

Hey Bill! I have a question pertaining to an issue in the U.S. and it's one that we're all get sick of hearing.

Do you think social media - and perhaps the internet in general - has played a role in helping divide this country?

Instead of expanding knowledge and obtaining greater understandings of the world, many people seem to use it to

1) seek and spread information - including false information - confirming their existing biases and beliefs, and

2) converse and interact only with others who share their worldview

(these are things I'm guilty of doing myself)

Follow up q: What steps should we take to help bridge this social, cultural, economic, educational and regional divide?


Q:

I need to make a monument for my sculpture class. What should I make?

A:

You probably get this a lot, but is there any chance of fan favorites Bill Burr or Gordon Ramsey being on the show?


Q:

Thanks for the answer! New Vegas is the absolutely best game in the Fallout universe!

A:

Hey I worked with refugee minors in a social care home in Germany for several months last year, and I just wanted to say I can relate to a lot of problems you face, and I understand how hard this job can be. Thankyou so much for carrying on. We might not always get to see happy endings for the people we work with, but your patience, dedication, and hard work and grit have genuinely changed lives, and just by caring for your refugees you have given them friendship in a time when they have nothing else. You are amazing, Thankyou. Do you have any specific stories that come to mind of an individual's life that was changed from being taken in by Sweden?


Q:

Do you find that upon learning of your situation that people treat you with "kid gloves" or that they're more judgey about as you phrased 'a childhood issue'?

I've only told one girlfriend and one friend. The one friend was mature and understanding about it. He doesn't treat me with "kid gloves," but he does poke fun at me from time to time. He left my house once and said, "Don't forget to wear your Pampers later." >.>

A:

This is a great question. I felt sure that allowing anyone to publish information and making it easy to find would enhance democracy and the overall quality of political debate. However the partitioning you talk about which started on cable TV and might be even stronger in the digital world is a concern. We all need to think about how to avoid this problem. It would seem strange to have to force people to look at ideas they disagree with so that probably isn't the solution. We don't want to get to where American politics partitions people into isolated groups. I am interested in anyones suggestion on how we avoid this.


Q:

Is it too late to drop the class?

A:

We have a white board with all of our white-whale guests, and those two are at the top of it. We try to will them into existence. Not enough time to give the whole rundown, but these are some of the names that are always top of mind: The Rock. Joe Rogan. Alexa Chung. Guy Fieri. Chrissy Teigen. Kobe. Aziz. Hannibal. Chelsea Handler.

But, it's not the easiest show to book. Not everyone wants to eat violently hot wings on camera. This is the hole we've dug for ourselves but we're always pitching.


Q:

Thank you!

(P.S., I agree with you... or maybe Fallout 2. It's a toss up).

A:

Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot :)

There are several unaccompanied minors who funded their journey to Sweden themselves by working hard in factories. I think their stories are the most inspirational to me, they were able to visualize a goal and work towards it for several years, then undertake a gruelling and dangerous journey. Now they're studying in school and hanging out with friends like children are supposed to do. I always tell them that what they've accomplished are things that people in Sweden struggle their whole lives to do, and that makes them special.


Q:

What do you think about the ABDL fetish in general? /r/ABDL

A:

What kind of technological advancement do you wish to see in your lifetime?


Q:

Is there anyone that you havent had a chance to sit down with yet that you would love to have on the show?

A:

Has the fame gotten you laid?


Q:

Pillars of Eternity: Deadfire is surprisingly Obsidian's first opportunity to develop a sequel. What were some ideas you had for potential sequels to your past games?

Keep up the good work and I can't wait for Deadfire.

A:

I know there has been a lot of controversy about if the people migrating are actual war refugees or just people from impoverished countries in the area taking advantage of the situation.

How does Sweden verify, if the person in question says he lost every piece of ID?


Q:

I'm fully aware of that community. God bless them. I'm not being harmed by their actions. In fact, sites like ABU offer insanely absorbent products that can hold up to 5000ml - far more than the "dribble twice and you leak" Depends.

A:

The big milestone is when computers can read and understand information like humans do. There is a lot of work going on in this field - Google, Microsoft, Facebook, academia,... Right now computers don't know how to represent knowledge so they can't read a text book and pass a test.

Another whole area is vaccines. We need a vaccine for HIV, Malaria and TB and I hope we have them in the next 10-15 years.


Q:

My children. Their agents won't call me back.

A:

Fuck yeah it has! throws up a high five


Q:

I wanted us to do a sequel to Alpha Protocol called Beta Contocol, just for the pun in the title. That was when I got my first demotion.

A:

The process looks something like this:

The refugee in question applies for permanent residence in Sweden. He claims he's from country X and that life there is so dangerous he can't possibly go back. He is then questioned on the details of his story. What village is he from, what specifically was dangerous about his situation, what family members does he have that are still in the country, are they alive or dead, etc. etc.

The department of migration now does two things: One, it does research to see if his statements check out. Has he described the village accurately, is it under threat, etc. Two, it cross-examines his answers at a later date to check for inconsistencies.

If the person has not given strong enough information to support his position, his application is denied. I have seen many examples of this. For example, one person I've worked with was denied asylum because he couldn't name the province his village was in. Another was denied because he didn't know the names of the neighbouring cities. They are very, very thorough.


Q:

There's also the new Bambino Magnifico with the velcro tabs! ;)

A:

Just wanted to reply to say that I love you Bill


Q:

Whats the most memorable moment you've ever had on your show?

A:

I only have one question. What the fuck are you doing with your life?

Also, the TJ Miller made me actually vomit at work from laughing so hard.


Q:

I've heard a few people suggest that you guys get another crack at a Spy RPG, but this time setting it in the Archer universe.

A:

Would you say these immigrants are more prone to committing crimes over a normal Swedish citizen? (Not trying to be rude or mean-spirited just want your opinion)


Q:

The childish print isn't flying with me.

And jeez, those are so expensive.

A:

Thanks!


Q:

I met my wife while filming a remote on my show. And that's interesting moment #28.

The most interesting moment was a cooking segment with Jerry Orbach.

A:

TacoGate is out of control. I've been eating tacos like that my whole life. It just makes sense to me. It doesn't get messy. You don't spill shit all over the place. I'm not going to apologize for attacking that thing from the top rope.

And, thank you! the T.J. Miller episode was a game changer for us.


Q:

That would actually be amazing, holy balls.

A:

I think refugees are more vulnerable to being taken advantage of by criminal elements. That is a problem we have to combat regularly and it can be difficult. Thankfully we have an effective network across several accommodations, so if for instance one of our residents is hanging out with a drug dealer we can make sure that person is not welcome at any of our locations.


Q:

Does it happen all at once (IOW, at one point at night there's a long pee emptying you bladder), or is it more like a constant small leak, so your bladder never actually fills up; pee goes out as it is produced?

I ask this because I'm curious about (if it's the first case) why you don't wake up when the pee starts going (is it part of the medical issue not to notice it?).

A:

I am sure you have traveled to all types of famous places.

Do you have a favorite vacation spot?


Q:

Did anybody in the telenovelas explained you why your character was a cheese seller?

A:

If nothing is off limits...

I think everyone is wondering: how is your butthole?

Do you have a standing appointment with a butthole therapist? Do you have a collection of speciality lotions you keep in rotation?

What's good man? Tell us the truth.


Q:

Do you think Stannis actually knew what obsidian was before Tarly told him?

A:

What are your thoughts on the murder of Alexandra Mezher?


Q:

Does it happen all at once (IOW, at one point at night there's a long pee emptying you bladder), or is it more like a constant small leak, so your bladder never actually fills up; pee goes out as it is produced?

I haven't monitored how it happens, but it seems to be constant spurts of liquid throughout the night. I don't wake up when the pee starts flowing (did I really type that?) because I'm a heavy sleeper.

Alarms have not worked because it's always too late when the alarm has finally woken me from slumber.

A:

Australia is particularly nice. It is summer there when it is winter here so going there in December and January is especially nice. I spent Thanksgiving there last year.

I have gotten to travel to a lot of great places like the Amazon in Brazil which I recommend.


Q:

I seriously asked them to explain many times and they never did. I was fervently looking forward to making out with a beautiful Mexican actress and they made me a pompous asexual cheese merchant. I am honestly very angry about this.

A:

Some rando dude once asked me this question in the middle of a Whole Foods so might as well get out in front of it now. At this point, my biology has more or less adjusted but there were some long, lonely nights in the beginning. There's a reason I told Eric Andre I wouldn't eat a Carolina Reaper again for less than five figures. That said, it's impossible to say no to Chili Klaus.


Q:

He knew nothing, Jon Snow.

A:

It was an absolute tragedy, and she shouldn't have had to be in that situation alone. I consider it a failure on the part of the people she worked on that her safety wasn't adequately considered. Any experienced worker knows when a situation requires extra hands, and this one definitely did.

Do I worry that the same could happen to me? No.


Q:

(I'm obviously not a doctor, so I'm just saying this from an engineer's perspective).

Your bladder and ureter tubes sizes are the same when you are awake and when you are asleep. So if the leaking does not happen when you are awake, (again, from an engineer's troubleshooting standpoint), their sizes should not be the root of the problem (at least not the sole cause).

During daytime, do you have to actively and consciously "hold" the pee all the time?

In an automation analogy: The hardware is the same in both situations (asleep/awake). If malfunctioning only happens in one situation, the cause should be in the control system; either the control loop is only running in "interactive mode" (IOW, you are consciously holding pee while you are awake), or the control loop daemon (an autonomous program that runs in the background) is being deactivated (or its control signals blocked) in sleep mode.

If it was a hardware cause only, it would not work during daytime either.

Does that make sense?

A:

What are the limits of money when it comes to philanthropy?


Q:

Hey Conan, huge fan, who was your favorite character to write for when you worked on the Simpsons?

A:

You have your own hot sauce, and a sandwich named after you, what's next? A "No big deal" Sriracha? "Don't touch your (eye)balls" wet naps?

Also can we get /r/MMA fighter /u/SmileNSam on the show?


Q:

This is probably only me, but I REALLY want to make a wrestling RPG.

A:

I'm curious if your schools are becoming more segregated or if you are fighting that trend?


Q:

(at least not the sole cause).

I believe it's due to the sizing and the fact that I'm asleep when the urge hits me.

During daytime, do you have to actively and consciously "hold" the pee all the time?

I have to hold my pee quite a bit. My bladder overfills regularly. I'm just awake and aware of my urges during the day.

A:

Philanthropy is small as a part of the overall economy so it can't do things like fund health care or education for everyone. Government and the private sector are the big players so philanthropy has to be more innovative and fund pilot programs to help the other sectors. A good example is funding new medicines or charter schools where non-obvious approaches might provide the best solution.

One thing that is a challenge for our Foundation is that poor countries often have weak governance - small budgets, and the people in the ministries don't have much training. This makes it harder to get things done.

If we had more money we could do more good things - even though we are the biggest foundation we are still resource limited.

Edit: We discuss this in our annual letter this year: www.gatesletter.com


Q:

Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. (Mr. Burns)

A:

Mad Dog 357 vaping e-liquid would be a dream.


Q:

Can you smell what the (black and shiny) rock is cooking!?

A:

Hmmm, yes and no. We do have a voucher system in Sweden which in theory should combat segregation, but I don't think it's doing enough. People just aren't that willing to let their kid study in a school further away from home, even if that school is better, and that means segregation is common. It is, however, an issue people are aware of and so hopefully it will be fought harder.

I am a substitute teacher in my spare time so I do have some insight into this, and there are definitely some schools that are, for lack of a better term, "whiter" than others.


Q:

I have to hold my pee quite a bit. My bladder overfills regularly. I'm just awake and aware of my urges during the day.

That makes sense (you keep "active" control while awake); so even if you did wake up every time it filled, it wouldn't be a solution because then you wouldn't get any decent sleep.

So it's hardware limitation leading to the need of an interactive control which has to stop at night :-/

Is bladder augmentation surgery an option?

A:

In your talk at Columbia University last month, you and Warren Buffet both emphasized the importance of “curiosity” as a personal quality.

Do you believe curiosity is a trait that is naturally inherited or a trait that can be cultivated and strengthened? If the latter, what methods would you recommend for people to develop and stimulate their own curiosity?


Q:

Are you giving up comedy for a career in lucha libre?

A:

Hey Sean, I’m a huge fan of yours! I have two questions for you:

  • What do you do to prepare your body for so much spicy food? I love hot stuff but it wreaks havoc on my system.
  • How do you prepare to ensure the interview is the best it can be? In my opinion you’re one of the greatest interviewers in the business, and it would be cool to know the process.

Also the hot ones sauce is really expensive to ship to Canada, you guys should definitely open up a shop here. We need some heat to warm our cold winter-conditioned bodies.


Q:

Are you guys familiar with MrBtongues videos? He made one comparing New Vegas and Fallout 3 and talking about how creating an interconnected world where thought is put into the economy and politics of the world, how people get food and so on, makes the experience so much richer than just having a world where cool setpieces feel kind of randomly stitched together. He made another video about how choice and consequences is done right in games. He often uses your games as positive examples and his thoughts about game development seems to align pretty well with your own design philosophies.

What are your thoughs on his videos if you have seen them?

A:

Are you employed by the government or a private agency? What does a typical work day look like for you?


Q:

so even if you did wake up every time it filled, it wouldn't be a solution because then you wouldn't get any decent sleep.

Exactly!

Bladder augmentation is still somewhat experimental. I also don't have the money to pay for that right now.

A:

Good question. I think having parents and teachers reinforce your curiosity and explain what they are fascinated with makes a big difference. A lot of people lose their curiosity as they get older which is a shame. One thing that helps nowadays is that if you get confused about something it is easier than ever to find an article or video to make things clear.


Q:

When you watch the segment tonight, you'll realize that even when I'm seriously trying to wrestle, I'm still doing comedy.

A:

I used to just go out there and wing it so to speak but now that we're weekly and have published, like, 60 episodes I take care of myself a lot more. I try to stay away from acidic foods and whatnot. The research is just kind of what it looks like... Chris and I read and watch everything that we can, trust our instincts and try not to overthink things. Much love to Canada!


Q:

I have seen those videos and think they're very interesting, and that's all I'm gonna say about that.

A:

Private agency, although the government are shutting us down so it won't really matter soon.

Work varies greatly from day to day. Usually my job is simply to be there in case anyone needs help with something or just wants to hang out. I guess you could say I'm whatever they need me to be. I'm a friend, a parent, a teacher, a therapist, etc. Some days I barely do anything while others I'm working so hard I almost collapse.

But in general, I come in, read up on what I've missed since last I was there, then check if there are any tasks that need doing, e.g. remind people about appointments, book meetings, purchase medicine. After that's all done, I spend the day hanging out with people and then document any meaningful interactions I've had. If someone's been showing improvement with behavioural issues, I write it down. If someone's been feeling down, I write it down. If someone's been skipping class, I write it down. It's extremely important that everyone on the staff is aware of what is happening in everyone's life so we can be as efficient as possible.

There always needs to be at least one person at the accommodation at all times, so some days I'll be spending the night there. We have a bed in the office and facilities for any daily needs like hygiene or food.


Q:

Hi there. At age 43 I had a brain injury and after months of rehab the only problem remaining is mild stress incontinence. I wear briefs 24/7, sleep on a moisture proof pad and bath towels and need to know where the bathroom is wherever I go. I wake up 2 or 3 times at night to pee. It is now automatic but a few months ago I would sleep through the night and often soak through everything. Shortly after my injury I was catheterized for a couple of weeks then I would be straight cathed 3x a day to drain the bladder. Eventually I started peeing automatically though without any control. It took 6 months until I was able to control things better. Now it is just a matter of waiting for things to resolve more. So a different cause to OP but I know some of what you are dealing with. I agree you don't tell everyone you know about this stuff. Some people don't know how to react. Those I am closest to simply want to know if I'm OK. Looking at me you would never know anything is not working normally.

A:

What are you most curious about, Bill?


Q:

What is your favorite flavor of Ice Cream?

A:

Hey Sean, big fan of the show!

Have you ever considered doing hot sauce reviews on First We Feast?

Also, what are your top 3 favorite tasting hot sauces for wings?


Q:

apologies if I've written this twice, new to Reddit .

Will we have Pirate sound tracks with the crew singing like on assassin's creed black flag?

Druken salior!

A:

Why are they shutting you down?


Q:

Thank you for sharing your story! I appreciate it.

A:

I still find the creation of life and the way the brain works the most fascinating areas. Nick Lane has some great books exploring what we know about how life started. It is amazing how little we know about the brain still but I expect we will know a lot more in 10 years.


Q:

Cherry Garcia

A:

Big fan of anything in the El Yucateco family, love Texas Pete's, Valentina and (I'm not just saying this) I reach for Hot Ones and Homeboy's sauces more than anything. Pickapeppa hot pepper sauce is amazing too.


Q:

I don't believe Justin Bell, our composer, has any sea chanties planned -- but you never know. I will suggest it to him, as I actually think it's a great idea! Then again, what do I know, I clean toilets for a living.

A:

The Department of Migration is cutting funding across the board, and so my municipality has decided to terminate all contracts with private companies running accomodations.


Q:

How much do your diapers absorb?

A:

Where do you see yourself in 15 years?


Q:

What is the origin of the string dance?

A:

Has anyone got sick during/after the show?


Q:

Is there an Od Nua style megadungeon in PoE2?

A:

Hello,

I am from India. Local people here are usually more sensitive to refugees of similar ethical origin as them OR who speak a similar language as them. But they see the refugees from alien cultures as a burden. What is your experience? What should be done to increase the awareness/ sensitivity of local population to the second kind of refugees?


Q:

I have a few brands that can hold up to 5000ml.

A:

I will be 76 at that time. Hopefully a grandfather. The Foundation with its partners will have eradicated a number of diseases and health in poor countries will be a lot better - specifically instead of 5% of children under 5 dying it should be at 2.5% which is still a lot.

I hope I can still type fast enough to do Reddit sessions without someone transcribing for me.


Q:

I was doing it in the office for a few years and the writers dared me to do it on the air. The rest is history.

A:

LMFAO! Yes. S/o Martin Garrix, Eddie Huang, Coolio and RiFF RAFF. I'm sure there are countless others.


Q:

Not this time, we decided to add a bunch of islands that Fulvano the explorer can discover, instead. It makes for a more varied adventuring experience.

A:

Very interesting question.

There is definitely a lot of skepticism when it comes to accepting people of different cultures or ethnicities, even here in Sweden. Xenophobia is in many ways ingrained in us as a survival instinct and the foreign and strange is intimidating. It also doesn't help that the cultural view of certain cultures have become more negative over the years. Arabic culture used to be heavily romanticized, for instance, as were the Pashto during the Afghanistan war, but are now more commonly associated with radical Islamism.

The way we work with integrating refugees into local communities is to encourage communication between ourselves and our neighbours. We volunteer for when there are local events such as BBQs and participate in activities that involed the community. We also have programs where unaccompanied minors are paired up with foster families, where they can go to eat dinner and spend time with Swedes.

It's important that we work from our end to integrate refugees into the local culture, that is the single most effective way to show that they can be an asset to the community.


Q:

Have you ever tried hygienic pads? Or are they not absorbing enough?

A:

What do you think is the most pressing issue that we could feasibly solve in the next ten years?


Q:

What are you going to do once your hair starts turning grey?

A:

I expect Bobby Lee shitting his pants qualifies


Q:

It's important that we work from our end to integrate refugees into the local culture, that is the single most effective way to show that they can be an asset to the community.

Have you noticed any issues or difficulties trying to get people that have been part of Islam for a lifetime to be accepting of western traditions and cultures ? I can't help but to bring up videos I've seen of Muslim ghettos in Europe, although it might be propaganda from oposing ideologies or parties, it's still some kind of evidence.

A:

They just don't absorb enough. I usually make great use of the diapers I buy that absorb 3000-5000 ml. I'm just a heavy wetter.


Q:

A lot of people feel a sense of isolation. I still wonder if digital tools can help people find opportunities to get together with others - not Tinder but more like adults who want to mentor kids or hang out with each other. It is great that kids go off and pursue opportunities but when you get communities where the economy is weak and a lot of young people have left then something should be done to help.

A:

I started dyeing it when I was 15. So I'm way ahead of the curve. My true hair color is jet black, and my real name is Blaze Falcon (I'm just babbling now).


Q:

Oh yeah, forgot about that one lol. We've had some doozies.

A:

If there have been difficulties they have been isolated incidents and not a general rule. For the most part people are very open to western ideas, especially concerning sexual and religious freedom. Freedom is a universally attractive concept, it's just a matter of showing people how good it can be for them. In my case it's very easy.


Q:

Ok, Mr. Gates, what's a typical Bill sandwich consist of? I'm talking breads, meats, cheeses, condiments. if you could only have one sandwich on earth, what would it be?

A:

Did the locals in Mexico recognize you as Conando from Noches de Pasion Con Señor O'Brien?


Q:

How do you guys decide on a new sauce within the lineup?

A:

How is your organization dealing with people who are skipping the system and getting across illegally? Do you put them in the queue with the other people patiently waiting to be accepted refugees? Or does your organization have their own special way of helping these people while vetting them and not disregarding the folks who are trying to get in legitimately?


Q:

Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger.

A:

I was surprised how many Mexicans were shouting my name through their car windows. I don't know if they knew who I was before, or were just reading coverage of my visit. I was recognized more there than any other country. Except Finland. Finland's weird.


Q:

At the end of the day, we probably put WAY too much thought into the sauces but it’s part of the fun, and it’s been cool to meet more people in the hot sauce game. We pick certain types in the hopes that they hit our guests differently throughout the interview. I’m pretty sure Chris has had sleepless nights thinking about Bravado Ghost Pepper & Blueberry sauce. We talk about things to swap in and out all the time. We’ll probably switch it up again soon!

A:

The thing about asylum seekers is that the moment they claim to seek asylum we are legally obliged to help them. So it doesn't really matter how they get there, once they make their intentions known they go into the system.

Not sure what you mean with the distinction of illegal and legal refugees? Or do you simply mean illegal and legal immigrants? Cause it's very easy to get a visa into Sweden so illegal immigration isn't really an issue for us the way it is in the US.


Q:

If you could create a new IP and business with Elon Musk, what would you make happen?

A:

Hey Conan, what's the most difficult part about prepping for a show?


Q:

Hey Sean, love watching your show every Thursday, with Mac Demarco on the show recently, do you plan on having any more indie rock kind of guest on soon?

A:

My mistake, I was in the mindset of immigrants. Hindsight says an "illegal" refugee doesn't make sense haha.


Q:

We need clean, reliable cheap energy - which we don't have. It is too bad the sun doesn't shine all the time and the wind doesn't blow all the time. The Economist had a good piece on this this week. So we need some invention - perhaps miracle batteries or super safe nuclear or making sun into gasoline directly.

A:

For a show like "Made in Mexico", we really wanted to make sure we struck the right balance between being funny, but also being culturally sensitive and attuned to how people were feeling there. We really did want the star to be the Mexican people, and I feel good about the result.


Q:

Yeah for sure. We’re always trying to find new genres to dig into to get more fans in the tent and just to keep the show as unpredictable and diverse as possible. Some of the big targets right now are WWE/MMA people, porn stars, and more celebrity chefs.

A:

Ain't no worry, my friend :)


Q:

Hi Bill, what's the biggest 1st world problem you get?

A:

What is the hardest you have laughed on the show?


Q:

Hey Sean, it's #15 Ranked UFC Middleweight Sam Alvey. We've spoken on twitter, but I have to ask you here - "WHEN CAN I COME ON YOUR SHOW!?!?!" I have a fight scheduled April 22nd in Nashville, but after that (when I'm done cutting weight) I need to come face punch some hot wings with my tongue fist. Hit me up!

  • Sam :)
A:

What and how much government paid public assistance do refugees receive? How much do you receive?

Are you male or female? How old are you? What percentage of the adult refugees are male?

Why do Swedes obsess so much about what happens in the US? Almost no one in the US can name the head of Sweden or say what type of government you have. I know generally where Sweden is a map, but could not tell confidently distinguish it from Norway or Denmark, and I am well above average in geography.


Q:

I would say education is the key problem. If you can solve that then it helps with a lot of things.

Maybe I didn't understand the question - maybe it supposed to be some idiosyncratic thing that bothers me....

A:

When people like Norm Macdonald, Will Ferrell, Martin Short, Charlene Yi, Kevin Hart, Bill Burr, Sarah Silverman, etc come on, it always makes me laugh.


Q:

Definitely need UFC guys. Hit me up we'll see if we can make something happen!

A:

Well, they have access to the same healthcare and educational services as everyone else, they receive between $300-$400 a month, and that includes their own food expenses, they also receive housing from us as well as buscards for getting around and a grant of $150 a year for recreational activities. I've probably missed a few expenses and it's difficult to quantify the costs of all the things that don't come with a bill. The exact numbers are freely available online but it can get quite hefty. I believe I read a study once that said it takes an average of 9 years until half of a set of refugees find employment and stop costing the government money.

I get paid $15/hr.

I'm a man in my 20s.

I don't have the exact figures but the number of male refugees is larger than the number of women. Amongst unaccompanied minors, significantly so.

And we obsess about the US because we secretly love the shit out of you :) Swedes are the ultimate tsundere when it comes to the US. We claim to hate your capitalism and wars in the middle east yet we consume your culture with gusto and all dream of visiting one day. Personally, I love America, and if I ever attend a ballgame I will gladly stand up and sing the national anthem with you.


Q:

Can you still jump over an office chair from a standing position?

Edit: Reference for those who need it.

A:

What was the best thing you ate while down in Mexico?


Q:

So Sean, we've got a thing we like to do around here called Explain That 'Gram. We do a deep dive on our guests Instagram and we just want the bigger picture. That sound good to you? Ok, here we go.

Shaq!? Come on Sean, have you been holding out on us?

And what about this guy? You're on Reddit, we're all about cute animals here. Give us the scoop.

And last but not least. 🎺🎺🎺

Thanks for joining us! Love Hot Ones. Keep it up.

EDIT: Hey, what's going on Hot Ones fans? If you liked my comment maybe meet me halfway, throw me an upvote. If you didn't like my comment, I don't want ya, I don't want ya in the thread. But if you did, upvote. Thank you very much. I appreciate you. I love you. More than a friend.

A:

True 1/3 Swedish women are afraid to leave their homes ?


Q:

No. Perhaps a small chair - a stool. I do exercise and ski but my main sport is tennis which doesn't involve jumping. Some people jump over the net but that isn't part of the sport.

A:

Nopales. It's cactus with cheese on it. It instantly cured me of my 25 year impotence.


Q:

LOL! Love this!

Shaq: So, I interviewed Shaq after some event in which he was a model for an art class full of drunken bros. I stole a horrible painting off one especially drunk dude, gifted it to Shaq during the interview and then he kissed me on the top of my bald head and said "Such a good dude."

That's my friend Sarah's dog Thor! I'd dog sit Thor from time to time back in the Chicago days.

And finally, made healthy deserts with John Cena and Emily Oberg. Just a day in the life. He told me a great story about how his first wrestling persona was a "half man, half machine" thing that he never got off the ground. Trying desperately to get him on Hot Ones.

And the Chrissy Teigen thing is a blur. Just standing there after an interview and getting licked by a supermodel. I think it was my first or second day in NYC.

A:

I don't think so, I haven't ever heard about that.


Q:

I have to know.. I saw what you got your secret Santa this year and it was amazing but what did YOU end up receiving?

Edit: Helpful Redditors answered my question below so thank you!! Follow up---- what did you think of it and what would you suggest to get you, if I were lucky enough to pull your name this year?

A:

Who is your favorite red-head, other than yourself?


Q:

Exactly how much research is done before shows? Its seems like you know every details about the person you're interviewing.

Who do you want to see most on the show?

A:

This was in an article from January based on an investigation made from an institution under the ministry of justice so it seems pretty legit.

Link:

Article - did not find it in english

http://www.dn.se/nyheter/sverige/bra-kvinnors-otrygghet-alarmerande/

About the institute

https://www.bra.se/bra/bra-in-english/home/about-bra.html


Q:

A contribution to Rotary to help end polio is a gift I would appreciate. Also any great book you have read and found interesting.

A:

Lucille Ball.


Q:

Chris and I do a ton of research, and honestly it’s one of the most fun parts. I usually spend at least 12 hours (sometimes a lot more) just watching every interview and reading everything I can find. Chris does his own research, then we kind of bring it all together and match the questions with the right wings so there’s a good flow—I also have to think about how I’m going to be dying on Mad Dog and Blair’s! Our main goal with Hot Ones is for the guest to have fun and feel like they can be free and loose, so it’s important to me for them to know that we went the extra mile to understand what they’re all about, and ask about the shit that other people might leave on the cutting room floor. It’s an honor that people even bring up Nardwuar—he’s a legend!

A:

Brå is a trustworthy source, so there's no questioning its validity.

I had not read this study, it's very valuable (and quite disturbing) information. Thank you for sharing!


Q:

Hi Mr. Gates!

Thanks for doing this AMA! You are doing a lot of work eradicating diseases like Polio. In fact you've said that the diseases malaria and polio could be eradicated within the next 15 years, with polio gone as soon as 2019. I'd like to know which other deadly diseases that you think could be either 100% curable affordably or gone completely by 2050?

And one more thing, you have said previously that you think AI can pose a serious threleat to humanity. I'd like to ask, apart from a killswitch, which other precautionary measures we could take to ensure that AI behaves well and doesn't wipe us out?,

Thanks a lot Mr. Gates!

A:

How do you still trust Paul Rudd after all these years of Mac and Me clips?


Q:

What is the process for choosing the guests? Has Hot Ones gained enough traction and word of mouth that people are excited for it/it has street cred? Or is it almost always you/PR person having to explain the concept over and over again? (Your PR person deserves a metal btw for convincing all these celebrities to participate and even finding ways to contact them.) My only other question(s) would be in regards to the lack of women guests; do you find they are less interested in participating? Or have the male guests just been easier to coordinate/book? Not a question, but I would love to see a duo of women (Key and Peele played off each other so well that was one of my favorite episodes)- maybe Tina Fey and Amy Pohler or Abbi and Ilana from Broad City. Thanks! P.s. as a vegetarian, 1. I still am obsessed with your show and 2. respect for making veggie wings for Ricky and others.

A:

Are you aware that an American media TV channel "Fox News" is creating make believe Swedish experts to talk about how terrible and dangerous Sweden has become? How do you feel about these "experts"?


Q:

One thing to make sure the people who create the first strong AI have the right values and ideally that it isn't just one group way out in front of others. I am glad to see this question being discussed. Google and others are taking it seriously.

A:

It's like Charlie Brown, Lucy, and the football. I believe in my heart one day he'll do the right thing.


Q:

The unsung hero of this whole thing is our amazing (and persuasive) talent booker Brandon Thomas. At first, we'd have to more or less con people into doing the show. Now, I'd say half our guests are familiar with Hot Ones and some are big fans. We've also had past guests lead to future ones (Tom leads to Padma, Bert leads to Coco, etc). Also, we need to s/o Sarah Honda for doing a little bit of everything. We wouldn't be able to do Hot Ones without her.

We haven't done a good enough job of booking women. In our experience, it's just been a tougher sell but it's something we think about/discuss all the time.

And definitely! Much love and respect to our vegetarian/vegan fans. Those vegan wings w Ricky are some of the best wings I've ever had in my life.

A:

I think I laughed for about five minutes straight when I saw that they had been interviewing "Nils Bildt".


Q:

Why do you think our healthcare systems have such a hard time leveraging the revolutionary changes in scalability that we've seen in software? Amazon is able to predict what we want, often before we realize we want it, but healthcare systems struggle to even schedule routine appointments and labs.

Having worked on both the healthcare and tech sides, I think people underestimate just how big the differences are between the two fields, but I have a hard time saying who needs to bend more for us to reach a happy compromise. Also, any idea on what we as concerned patients and family members can help to encourage this compromise? I just feel like we're so close to using technology to improve efficiency and thus increase accessibility to care.

Thanks for your time!

A:

When will you take Jordan to Italy?


Q:

So I've noticed a little interaction between you and Ethan from h3h3 on Twitter... any chance we get him and/or Hila on Hot Ones soon?

Love the show.

A:

Do you guys have a designated rape day for the Muslims or are they free to rape as they please?


Q:

It is super important to improve our healthcare system - both to reduce chronic disease but if we don't do better health costs will squeeze out spending on all other government functions.

I agree it is surprising how tough it has been to get digital medical records right and to learn from looking at those records.

Still there are some very promising things going on. For example the idea of looking at a blood sample to find cancer very early so it can be treated. We will be able to use genomic data to tune treatments.

There are a few big problems like diabetes, obesity and neurological conditions including Alzheimer's that we really need to solve.

A:

Taking Jordan to Italy is already in the works. We're waiting until it's legal to bring a cyborg into a foreign country.


Q:

Yeah, just trying to work out scheduling at this point. I love Ethan and Hila.

A:

Oh boy, here they come...


Q:

Did you copy Steve Jobs or did he copy you?

A:

How is the old time baseball league looking this year?


Q:

Can you get Barack on?

A:

How would you describe Zlatan Ibrahimovic in 3 words?


Q:

The main "copying" that went on relative to Steve and me is that we both benefited from the work that Xerox Parc did in creating graphical interface - it wasn't just them but they did the best work. Steve hired Bob Belville, I hired Charles Simonyi. We didn't violate any IP rights Xerox had but their work showed the way that led to the Mac and Windows.

A:

Thanks for remembering my favorite remote of all time. Sometimes late at night I think about the young woman Nell and how we were supposed to be together but sadly we were born 150 years apart.


Q:

Fingers crossed someday.

A:

You're welcome, Manchester


Q:

Mr Gates!

Any thoughts on the current state of the U.S.?

A:

How do you keep your hair sooo amazing and perfect?


Q:

Hey Sean! You've eaten the Carolina Reaper twice and I wanna know which time was it the most painful? Also, what was your bowel movement like after eating it?

Thank you

A:

Hello, who do you think would win in a fight between James Franco and Dave Franco?


Q:

Overall like Warren Buffett I am optimistic about the long run. I am concerned in the short run that the huge benefits of how the US works with other countries may get lost. This includes the aid we give to Africa to help countries there get out of the poverty trap.

A:

Mayonnaise, corn starch and embalming fluid. Bake at 125 degrees for 1 hour.


Q:

The second time was 100x worse. Feel like my entire body was like, "You. Dumbass." and completely shut down. Afterwards I was in the fetal position on my bathroom floor for at least an hour thinking about my lot in life in a very existential way. Now if I even smell a Carolina Reaper my cheeks water up. I'd say never again if it weren't for that charming motherfucker Chili Klaus.

A:

In a fistfight I don't know, but in a bathingsuit contest it'd be Dave hands down.


Q:

Hi Bill,

I'm going to become a father this summer. Do you have any advice you wouldn't mind sharing, from one dad to a dad-to-be?

Thanks!

A:

Does the superhero outfit still fit, and how often do you just wear it around the office?


Q:

Big fan of the show, keep up the good work Sean!

If you could have anyone on the show, dead or alive, who'd it be?

A:

Any comment on the no-go zones that are populated by people who aren't ethnic Swedes?


Q:

I just went on a trip with my 17 year old son to see 6 colleges. He is a junior in High School and trying to figure out where he should go. Trips like that have been a great way to spend time together. He reads even more about politics than I do so I let him pick books for me to read.

Melinda is very creative about helping me find chances to spend time with the kids. Even just driving them to school is a great time to talk to them.

A:

It does fit. I do not wear it at the office at all; I wear it at home, and to the gym at Venice beach.


Q:

I'd say Andy Kaufman, The Ultimate Warrior and William Shakespeare to have him answer for the ghostwriting accusations on Death Sauce.

A:

As far as I've been able to discern, they don't exist.


Q:

What do you think about Universal Basic Income?

A:

This is a question for Conanando. I am a 30 year old Hispanic male, about to get married in sept of this year. Any solid suggestions for wedding vows?


Q:

Did the dj khaled episode lower your opinion of him?

A:

It seems like there's some argument about the truthiness of that.

I'm just going by what some swedes have said. Apparently others feel otherwise


Q:

Over time countries will be rich enough to do this. However we still have a lot of work that should be done - helping older people, helping kids with special needs, having more adults helping in education. Even the US isn't rich enough to allow people not to work. Some day we will be but until then things like the Earned Income Tax Credit will help increase the demand for labor.

A:

If you're future wife is anything like mine she'll insist on taking out the part of the vows where you promise to honor and obey your husband. Try really hard to get that part back in.


Q:

From my heart, I honestly think the DJ Khaled Hot Ones episode is the greatest in series history. I think it will live on long after we're all buried under rocks and dust. It's been amazing to see him go from "put the hinges in the fuccbois hands" to doing Ellen and more TV commercials than Peyton Manning. Truly a national treasure and my proudest work at First We Feast.

A:

That doesn't make it a no-go zone. Police escorted him out of the area, which should imply it wasn't a no-go zone.


Q:

Hi Bill and thanks for doing this. I recently read 2017 annual letter in response to Warren Buffet on the impact of his donation (2006) to your foundation, and the world it serves, and I thought the information you highlighted was incredibly powerful and insightful. For those of us that cannot start our own foundation, or even if we could, how do you recommend finding a cause worth fighting for? Clearly your access to information and resources has allowed you to isolate some of the world's larger problems and find those folks who can actually make a difference. But where did you start? (For those who haven't seen it- https://www.gatesnotes.com/2017-Annual-Letter?WT.mc_id=02_14_2017_02_AL2017GFO_GF-GFO_&WT.tsrc=GFGFO)

Lastly, can I ask for your opinion on the status of the world refugee crisis. I've seen a lot of information on both sides of the fence, but I think I lean towards the belief that charity/donations need go into these communities and the folks that relocate are often the top thinkers/earners that could truly change their home country if they stayed. Here is a rather oversimplified video that summarizes the basis of my thoughts, I'd love to hear your view on all of this. (Poverty/refugee by numbers- https://youtu.be/LPjzfGChGlE)

Thanks again for taking the time. You truly are a visionary, role model, and hero without a cape to many of us worldwide.

Edit: formatting

A:

What does Andy smell like?


Q:

Not many people here know that you also are also a journalist for Complex. How did you get involved with that? What does Jinx smell like?

Also, how does it feel to never age?

A:

Did the refugees rape you in the ass?


Q:

There are so many ways to get involved - schools have mentorship and volunteering opportunities. Small gifts to things like Donors Choose have a big impact. I think most people start getting involved in local social service organizations. If you can travel to developing countries and see the needs there that is also great. It is great to start philanthropy when you are young.

In the long run the way to avoid refugee problems is to help countries develop by having good health, education and governance - fortunately the overall trend is good despite huge setbacks like Syria, South Sudan and Somalia. Unicef has a lot of good information about how to help with the current refugee challenges: http://uni.cf/2ltdjfr

A:

Sandalwood and regret.


Q:

I used to freelance for Complex while I was living in Chicago. At pretty much the exact moment Complex launched its video operation, I was in New Orleans interviewing a bunch of people for print pieces. They asked me if they could put the interviews on camera to help get the YouTube page off the ground and I was hyped as fuck because my life was extremely boring at the time. I remember studying note cards and being nervous as hell for, like, a five minute video interview with 2 Chainz lol. Anyway, to get back on track... Complex liked the video pieces enough to offer me a full time job so I quit my gig in Chicago, sold my shit and moved to NYC 30 days later.

Jinx smells like cigar guts and Old Spice.

And, it took some digging but here's my first ever video interview! Peep the beautiful head of hair LMFAO! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoiPLM1oVvk

A:

No


Q:

Bill, big fan but I've got a question and I need you to formally settle it.

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

A:

What are you listening to lately, favorite new album or something older I should check out?


Q:

Sean, when are you going to come on down to Nashville & do a Nashville Hot Chicken special?


Q:

Good question. If you don't have a bun then it absolutely is not. If you slice the hot dog and put it on a normal piece of bread (like Burgermaster) then it is. When you use a hot dog bun then it is ambiguous.

A:

My son really got me into 21 Pilots other than that my wife and I like to slow dance to John Grisham audio books.


Q:

Check out this vid I did w Redban: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f0pxdL1vsE

I'd love to go to Nashville and get some Hattie B's or Prince's straight from the source. Hopefully we can make that happen soon.

A:

It seems like neither source is discussing refugees, and both in fact support my overall position on immigration and crime. Socioeconomic factors are more important variables than ethnicity or country of origin in explaining crime rates.


Q:

STEM, or STEAM?

A:

Is a hotdog a sandwich?


Q:

If you could pick any 1 porn star to appear on Hot Ones, who would you pick and why?

A:

"Also you guys have an orange president now? Do you color code your leaders?"

How am I to take you seriously as an unbiased expert when the above comment is in your introduction? [Serious]


Q:

I am not sure if Steam here means the gaming platform or adding Arts to Science, Technology, Engineering and Math. I have always been a big STEM fan but I have nothing against either STEAM.

A:

Because the bread is connected, and forms a "hinge" if you will, it falls under the "taco" classification. Ergo, hotdogs and tacos are not sandwiches. The pita, however, takes us into strange territory and demands further study.


Q:

We've talked about this quite a bit. Top of the list is Teanna Trump but maybe you guys can help us out??? Who do you want to see? Feel like the Reddit community could have some valuable input here lol.

A:

I'm not sure why this would call my impartiality into question? I just joked about the fact that Donald Trump looks like he has spent a bit too long in a sauna. Would you think I was biased if I had joked about Obama's ears when he was president? ("Aren't you listening in on our private conversations enough?" is totally what I would say)


Q:

Hey, Mr. Gates! Was there any book that helped you through your career?

A:

Hey Conan, big fan.

How did you become friends with Jack White?


Q:

I found this awesome show through TJ Miller. I loved it right away. Before my brother moved away we did Nine of the ten sauces from last season (sans Sriracha) and it was pure agony. Yet, by the time we finished there was a certain euphoria that you and your guests have pointed out. After two weeks I had a crazy urge to repeat the challenge again. So my wife and I have done so about once every two months.

Obviously with the frequency episodes have been coming out you don't wait that long, but I was wondering what the minimal amount of time between shoots you'll allow? Also what your immediate cool down routine is once the cameras turn off... Thanks!

P.S~ picture proof of pain.

http://imgur.com/0MlkUsV

http://imgur.com/kqYDudB

A:

what is best and worst thing about this?


Q:

I have recommended a book called Business Adventures that chronicles some big successes and failures - I learned a lot from that.

A:

True story: I met Jack and Meg in a bowling alley in Detroit in 1999 while shooting a remote. They were part of a group of people that came over and hung out. Later, they became famous and told me they were part of the group that were chatting and drinking beers all night. I totally lucked out. Since then, I just hang out in bowling alleys looking for future rock stars.


Q:

I mean, you have to do what you have to do to keep the show going. We've shot three episodes in a week before, which can be pretty brutal. My immediate cool down routine is to go back to my apartment or hotel, throw on some basketball shorts, crank the air conditioning and tell everyone to not bother me for a few hours. I've actually come to kind of look forward to those peaceful, very Zen after hours.

A:

About my job or taking in refugees in general?

The best thing about my job is feeling like I'm making a difference in the lives of the people I work with, and the best thing about taking in refugees is that we're doing a moral good and saving lives.

The worst thing about my job is feeling like nobody at the top gives a shit and prefer to delegate work down to me, and the worst thing about taking in refugees is that it's a bit inconvenient I guess? Or maybe it's how salty it makes some people on reddit-threads about immigration (read: Muslim-rape guy)


Q:

Do you ever wish you were an animal instead of a human, and if so which one?

A:

How far in advance in the guest list booked? Secondly, when you reach out to someone who has never heard of the show before, how do you guys pitch this interview?


Q:

What is the best you've seen from a refugee case (as in good people who need help) and what is the worst (as in people that you question if they should even be their)?

A:

See my previous answer about the penis covered stegosaurus.


Q:

We're pretty run and gun. Sometimes it's feels like a professional organization where we have a shoot scheduled two weeks in advance and a peg/launch date. Other times we just hop on a plane or pop up shop our show with, like, 48 hours notice (sometimes less).

A:

Most people from Syria have a good case for staying, and most do get to stay. I've met many kind people, but the ones I'd consider "best" are the ones I know will handle life in Sweden well. The ones who take their education seriously, quickly learn the language and are responsible and mature.

The "worst" is I suppose the people who come from countries that just don't get you asylum. Albania is the one I've seen most often. Only 2% of applications from Albania get approved, meaning that resources spent on those cases would be better spent on cases that will actually grant asylum. Still, they are here for a reason and I would never go so far as to say they're leeching off the system, but they do contribute to overburdening the system.


Q:

How many four year olds would you kill before they killed you?

A:

Sean, you said during the Gaffigan episode that you went to U of I. What was your major? And how the hell did you get from here to doing the best interview show in the world?


Q:

I was in this scenario two years ago. I wounded one before nine of them took me down and ripped the flesh from my bones with their baby teeth.

A:

I was a broadcast journalism major at U of I. S/o to Prof. John Paul. If the ball bounced differently in life, I think I would've been the weatherman at WCIA-TV. And who knows maybe I will be someday.


Q:

Hi Conan. It's Riley, the intern that you yelled at the other day for eating too many almonds. My question: How much water does it take to produce a single almond?

A:

Eating hot foods has never been the problem for me, that comes later. How does your butthole hold up to this sort of punishment week after week? Is it like building a callus where it eventually isn't a problem anymore?


Q:

Riley, I yelled at you because you exceeded my 'one almond an hour' rule. That wastes water (an almond takes 1.1 gallons of water to produce).

A:

I already answered a question about my butthole. NO MORE BUTTHOLE QUESTIONS! Sean Spicer voice


Q:

Hey Conan.

If you could turn into any vegetable at will, what would it be and why?

A:

Who was your favourite interview so far? And also who is the number 1 person you want on the show that haven't been on yet?


Q:

The Asparagus, because I could change the odor of your urine against your will.

A:

The interviews that felt the best while they were happening were Joe Budden, Russell Brand, NORE (obviously), Jay Pharoah, T.J. Miller, T-Pain (and many others). I think the best pound for pound interview was probably Ricky Gervais? Then there's a whole other category of episodes I appreciate because of the ground they cover.

But, my favorite thing about Hot Ones is that it seems like the fans all have their own favorites, for their own reasons. My favorite episodes are the ones no on can agree on, where one comment is "Worst guest ever!" and the next is "GOAT episode!" That's how I know we've hit the right Hot Ones notes.


Q:

Conan! Boston native here. I want to take my girl out for a real nice dinner to celebrate, anywhere in the Brookline/Boston/Quincy area. What do you suggest? If I can tell her I'm taking her somewhere (even if it's Taco Bell) because Conan Fucking O'Brien suggested it, she'd love it.

A:

Did Bobby Lee really poop himself! If so, how bad did it smell?


Q:

Go to Pino's Pizza in Cleveland Circle. There's only two tables but it's the only pizza my family and I eat. I've been going there since elementary school.

A:

We did not cotton swab test his underpants or anything so there's no way to know for sure but it did seem like a serious situation in real time.


Q:

All 45 US presidents engage to a fight to the death. Who makes it out alive?

A:

Hey /u/Seanseaevans! Let me just start with a huge thank you for all the support for r/Hotones. /u/Alexrock88, /u/PrettyBoyFlizzy, and I have had a blast building this Reddit community around your fantastic show and the general user base you generate is much friendlier than that of other internet hosts so kudos! I've got a three parter for you if you don't mind.

1) What is the one event you would attribute the most to "getting your foot in the door" to the career you are currently on?

2) What ever happened with the Aussie knockoff that you spoke to Bert about?

3) Are there any plans to either be on Joe Rogan's Podcast or have him on your show in the future?

~~ /r/HotOnes CSS Mod ~~

/u/Matt8858


Q:

Harry S. Truman. Do not screw with Harry S. Truman.

A:

Whadddup Matt! As far as getting my foot in the door, it's really about taking advantage of opportunities. Long story short... I was working a copywriter job in a cubicle in Chicago but I'd freelance on the side for some extra money and because I needed a creative outlet. That led to freelancing for Complex, which led to meeting Chris Schonberger (EIC at First We Feast), which led to this ridiculous show, which led to me answering your question here.

As far as I can tell, Fox Sports Australia washed "Burning Questions" from the world. Maybe those ding dongs are still doing it but they've definitely stopped putting it on YouTube. S/o Bert Kreischer btw!

I've never spoken to Joe. I don't get the impression that he does much press and he told Bert he wouldn't do Hot Ones on the JRE. But we'd kill to have him on the show if he changed his mind. Obviously, if he ever invited me to JRE I'd be there w my sauces ready to get weird.


Q:

Hi Conan! Thanks for consistently making me laugh out loud. What is your favorite cereal?

A:

It's a tie between Fruit Loops and Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries


Q:

Favorite person you have played guitar with?

A:

It's a tie between Jack White and Springsteen


Q:

Have you received any offers to play professional soccer after your incredible display with Gio Dos Santos?

A:

Thanks for calling that an incredible display. The goal I scored was so incredibly fake that I felt bad for the goalie who had to pretend to miss a ball moving at 2mph.


Q:

Are you secretly in love with Jeff Goldblum?

A:

I don't think I've been very secretive about it. If I cold mate with The Fly, I would.


Q:

Is there ever going to be a beard reprise? I wouldn't be mad about it...

A:

I got a complete 50/50 response on the beard. Half the people loved it, half the people hated it. Since it was my kids who hated it, it had to go. Don't fear, I still keep it in the attic with my wedding dress.


Q:

Do you have to adjust your comedy routine when traveling to a different country (in this case, Mexico) or is comedic timing universal?

Thank you and looking forward to tonight's episode!

A:

That's a great question. What surprised me the most is how little I have to adjust. Especially in Mexico. The Mexican people are really funny and sharp, and they always got the joke instantly - and they weren't afraid to give me a hard time. I'm very comfortable being the underdog when I do remotes, and all the Mexican people I encountered were great and generous improvisors.


Q:

Is Bill Tull really like that?

A:

Yes, Bill Tull is exactly like that.


Q:

Do you plan on traveling all over the world with the Conan Show ?

A:

I'd like to keep this going as long as I can. It's really fun, and at this stage in my career it feels like something new and exciting. I've always loved my job, but the one downside is being in the studio every day. The chance to travel and try my comedy out on people who speak different languages is a great joy.


Q:

What does marshawn lynch smell like?

A:

Skittles, Hennessy and a new born kitten.


Q:

Hi Conan, I've brought a puppet to your studio audience a few times, but the last time Jeff Ross sternly requested I keep it down during the show. Why does Jeff Ross hate puppets?

A:

Jeff Ross was molested by a puppet in 1958. When he testified in court he had to point to a human to show where the puppet touched him.


Q:

Hi Conan, my left pinky finger has been twitching since midnight and seems to have moved to my buttocks. Any tips?

A:

Without intimate photos it's hard to say. I'll send you some.


Q:

Your remotes are probably my favorite thing you do. In the future, would you ever consider doing a travel show? I'd definitely watch that. Thanks for all the laughs.

A:

Great idea. I'd love to do a travel show. In fact, I'm going to go shoot one in Mexico right now. It will air tonight at 10pm on TBS. Look for your name in the credits under "Idea By".


Q:

Hi Conan! Did the trip improve your Spanish? Any new words or phrases you'd love to share?

A:

I honestly think my accent for stronger, and I think if I lived in Mexico City for a while I would get better much faster. My favorite phrase is on the back of a jacket someone gave me; it's "México es Chingón".


Q:

There has been a rise in antimicrobial resistance in recent years due to abuse and overuse of antibiotics. What do you think needs to be done to change this trend? Also, I have a degree in Microbiology and have been applying to state level Epidemiologist positions with no luck. Where should I find good entry level positions in this field that will help bolster my resume and make me a better candidate for these positions?

A:

My father Dr. Thomas F. O'Brien who works at Brigham and Women's hospital in Boston has been working hard on this problem for decades. He's the smartest guy I know. He and his team have been working hard on this serious issue for a long time.


Q:

What was it like to speak to former president Vicente Fox and did you take away anything that you weren't expecting from your trip to Mexico?

A:

President Vicente Fox was very funny, and although he was talking about a serious issue, he came prepared almost like a comedian. He entirely caught the spirit of what we were trying to do, and he's a big part of the show.


Q:

Tequila or Mezcal?

A:

Tequila


Q:

Are you okay bud?

A:

Wow. Your friendly, casual demeanor cracked through my cold emotionless exterior. The answer is no. Bud's not okay.


Q:

Conan, in 40 years time after you stop doing your show, would u consider doing conan travels as a netflix show?

A:

in 40 years time we'll all be brains in jars connected to a giant server. But yes, my brain will travel the world.


Q:

What is your all time favorite book?

A:

The Killer Angels, by Michael Shaara


Q:

Do the drapes match the curtains?

A:

Still no curtains. My dad says it happens for guys at different times.


Q:

What was it like playing video games with Tom Brady?

A:

I'm from Boston, and a huge Patriots fan. We had to edit out all the times I tried to kiss him.


Q:

If your really conan then, what's something only he would know?

A:

I have a scar from an appendectomy on my lower right abdomen. I have three cats named Thor, Maow and Cleo and the only one I like is Thor. My ATM Pin is 1494.


Q:

Do you have any particularly vivid memory of your time at Brookline High School? Warriors rule

A:

My favorite moment was when I threw the big pass that won the game. Or maybe that was Jimmy Hennessey.

Seriously, I went back to Brookline High School about 15 years ago, and it was so much nicer then when I was there. They actually had a sushi bar (not kidding). I felt like I had gone to high school during the Great Depression.


Q:

Thank you for taking your show to Mexico for your travel special. I love the country!

Of the places you visited, what was your favorite? Would you go back to do another episode or for a vacation? What the tastiest meal you had? What is Diego Luna like?

A:

I went to the Trotsky museum; it's the house where Leon Trotsky was murdered with an ice pick. I think it's safe to say that I'm the only late night host to ever go there.


Q:

Hey Conan, would you rather have a vagina on your forehead or have a row of penises down your back like a stegosaurus?

A:

Ah, the old classic question. I've always been a penis stegosaurus guy.


Q:

Are we dating?

A:

I think it's time to tell people that yes, we are dating.


Q:

What's your favorite key and scale to solo in?

A:

A.


Q:

What's your favorite television show?

A:

"Conan: Made in Mexico" (which airs tonight at 10pm on TBS). Aside from that, season two of One Tree Hill. When Peyton hit bottom, I thought my life was over.


Q:

Will we ever see the Masturbating Bear again?

A:

In 2015, The Masturbating Bear died of autoerotic asphyxiation alone in a Motel 6 in Flagstaff, AZ. He was buried with full military honors.


Q:

How is Mike Sweeney still alive? What sort of superfood do you feed him?

A:

Don't make fun of Mike Sweeney - he served our country valiantly during the Korean war. We give Mike Sweeney the same hormones they inject into old Redwoods. Currently there's a branch growing out between his shoulder blades.


Q:

Favourite Beatle?

A:

Liam Cartwright. He played tenor sax with the group, but left for better things in '58.


Q:

What is one word you use to describe Timothy Olyphant?

A:

Olyphantastic


Q:

Did you bring back any Mexico made items?

A:

I have some great leather "F The Wall" boots from President Vicente Fox, a "México es Chingón" jacket, and a Trostsky keychain.


Q:

Hey Conan! I imagine you're a busy guy, but did you ever finally get to meet Forss Fagerstrom?

A:

No, I did not. It's one of the great disappointments of my life.


Q:

Craziest moment on the show?

A:

After something like 4500 hours of weird awkward television, I honestly cannot answer that.


Q:

Hello Conester, I've been to Mexico many times and it's one of my favorite countries to visit. When you were there, were people really hesitant about Americans?

A:

Absolutely not. The Mexican people were warm, friendly and eager to participate in the show. We spent a week there. I met thousands of people and I never felt the slightest hint of trepidation or hostility.