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NonprofitWe train American shelter dogs to become the world's best conservation detection dogs to protect wildlife and wild places. Ask Us anything about Working Dogs for Conservation.

Mar 28th 2017 by wd4c • 19 Questions • 1819 Points

Hey, Nails here. First, just a few things I got going:

  • June 2016 I wrote my New York Times best selling memoir: House of Nails: A Memoir of Life on the Edge. Hardcover is already available, paperback will be released June 2017. Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/House-Nails-Memoir-Life-Edge/dp/0062407368

  • I got a reality TV show in the works "House of Nails", stay tuned for more info on that and take a look at the sneak peak here: https://twitter.com/LennyDykstra/status/838954151165870081

  • I'm featured on and regularly visit the Stern Show to discuss my conquests and exploits. Be sure to tune in, and if you haven't already, you can listen in on some of my features and visits below:

https://www.howardstern.com/show/2016/11/28/lenny-dykstra-bedroom-talents-confirmed-two-women/

https://www.howardstern.com/show/2016/11/28/show-rundown-november-28-2016/

https://www.howardstern.com/show/2016/6/28/lenny-dykstra-great-baseball-even-better-pleasing-women/

https://www.howardstern.com/show/2016/6/28/how-charlie-sheen-confided-lenny-dykstra-about-his-hiv-status-long-going-public/

I will answer as much as I can over the next couple of hours (until ~2 PM EST), and I might follow up on some other questions past that time too. Be patient, I'm new to this shit...

I'm going to answer any REAL questions you can throw at me. I'm NOT going to answer stupid spammy troll shit (you guys know who you are)

Photo proof: http://imgur.com/lDmK9LS

Twitter posts regarding AMA:

https://twitter.com/LennyDykstra/status/846451375970140161

https://twitter.com/Rebound_Finance/status/846386165355827202

https://twitter.com/LennyDykstra/status/845295497510354944

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/LennyDykstraOfficial/

1:59 PM EST, gotta wrap things up:

Guys, we're signing off now. Won't be answering any more questions. Sad that some assholes pushed down all the real questions. I don't care for me, but I care about the fans and that's not fair for them. Anyway, if you want me to come back on, just give me 10 minutes notice.

Thanks Reddit for hosting me, thanks to the fans.

Q:

This is really cool! Do you hope to see more organizations find jobs for shelter dogs? Seems like a great way to keep them from being so lonely.

A:

Hey Lenny,

I was wondering if through all the ups and downs... all the fun times, the bad times, and the sad times. Through thick and thin, high and low, and everything in between... through winning the world series or your three time MVP awards... or correctly predicting an INSANE amount of stock picks...through all the fraud accusations, arrests, rehab stints, and now the come back.

I was wondering, after all that... Would you suck our dicks?


Q:

Yes! We've created a web community (rescues2therescue.org) to do exactly that. Our hope is that more conservation organizations will join, and then we'll expand to search and rescue, police departments, military, etc...

A:

You know what... The info is actually impressive... I'm sexually aroused.


Q:

Could you please tell all of your dogs that they are good boys and/or good girls for me? They are good puppers and need to know.

A:

https://streamable.com/tuboj


Q:

Message delivered, with scratches, treats and love!!

A:

Take that however you like, it's not a maybe, unconditional no


Q:

What does the dog do when it detects conservation?

A:

Hey Lenny, its the guys from Pardon My Take, how about you suck our dicks?


Q:

Good one! Unfortunately, the dogs just detect whatever we train them to (Ivory, rhino horn, guns, ammunition, or the scat of threatened or endangered species). it's up to the people to make the conservation happen!

A:

cool story bro


Q:

Are you hiring ?

A:

Hey Lenny there's a lot of guys asking you to suck their dick in here... kinda begs the question, how many dicks have you sucked in your lifetime?


Q:

No positions actively open right now, but we're growing, so we will be hiring again in the not-too-distant future. We'll announce it on FB and Twitter and our web page: WD4C.org https://www.facebook.com/WorkingDogsForConservation @WD4C

A:

Do the math and figure it out.


Q:

great ! what kind of qualifications would one need then ?

A:

Lenny would you recommend buying stock in you sucking our dicks? Seems to be on the rise


Q:

Well, most new handlers are trained in anthrozoology (Human/animal bond) with an emphasis on dogs. Some background in wildlife biology helps too. Eventually, we may also be looking for folks to do community outreach for things like foster programs and working with shelters too...

A:

Only thing that's on the rise is your stupidity


Q:

What is the most common dog you use?

A:

football guy


Q:

Almost all dogs have the olfactory ability to do the work. We select for drive, specifically, toy drive, which translates into an insatiable motivation to work and find their targets. We have german shepherds, belgian malinois, labs, border collies and mixed breed dogs. As you can see in the Shelter Me video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vzdE_HDnBo), both Vicka and Sara are mixed breeds. The ideal dog is also not too big (so we can load them in crates and cars and take them places), but also large enough that they can jump over logs, check high spots on cars and boats and such... here's the current lineup: http://wd4c.org/ourdogs.html

A:

Absolutely not, not for me.


Q:

Also I should add that I live in Montana and would love to volunteer if possible.

A:

Also, who would win in a bar fight, you or Dale Murphy?

Would you suck his dick after you lost?


Q:

Thanks!! You can get directly involved through your shelter and the Rescues to the Rescue program: http://www.rescues2therescue.org/ All 4 of our founders had backgrounds in biology and dog training. Nowadays our new handlers often have degrees in anthrozoology, and it helps to have some knowledge of wildlife biology. Good luck!! It's great work.

A:

I would never fight Dale Murphy. He is one of the nicest men I have ever met.


Q:

My dog has naturally become prolific detecting small animals and cheese burgers. How cold I harness her abilities to find something worth money instead?

A:

Hey Lenny I was wondering about your career on the mets and I'm fascinated to know how often your manager would come back into the locker room and tell you that the guys from Pardon My Take said to Suck our Dicks?


Q:

THAT is the question! The trick will be to find out what motivates her-- and it sounds like you know that: small animals and cheese burgers. Next step, to teach her that the way to get small animals and cheeseburgers is to find the OTHER things you ask her to...gold watches lost at the beach, rare coins, morel mushrooms...etc. Good luck, and please remember us when you've made your fortune!

A:

He was too hammered to even talk.


Q:

so you are saying that I should setup a reward program, where I give her a live mouse to play with after she find me a gold nugget?

A:

Hey Lenny any good Locker Room Talk from your time with the '86 Mets?


Q:

Well, We wouldn't recommend a live mouse! Maybe a stuffed one would motivate her?

A:

The 1993 Phillies made the 86 mets look like school children. That was where the real partying went down.


Q:

What exactly does your organization do?

A:

Hey lenny, I was wondering if you could offer some more stock tips?

Also how about you just suck our dicks already


Q:

Historically, we have done a lot of ecological monitoring work-- non-invasive sampling of wildlife by finding where they live (by finding their scats) or counting them using fecal DNA. Nowadays we still do the ecological monitoring, but we also stop the spread of invasive species like weeds or zebra mussels, and we do lots of law enforcement work, stopping poaching and wildlife trafficking. You can check it all out at http://WD4C.org.

A:

Go to nailsinvestments.com, if you would follow all my picks, you would be a millionaire today, and no I won't suck your dicks.


Q:

What is the difference between toy drive and food drive in training? What's the difference between a dog that's toy driven and one that's more treat driven?

A:

It's this reason why I waste so much of my life on reddit. I love this


Q:

Every dog is different, just like people. We prefer toy drive because they don't get sated after being rewarded over and over again, but the truth is a treat-driven dog (like mine) can work just as effectively as a toy-driven one. The handler just has to be prepared with lots of treats, and be prepared to knock off work if the dog eats so many that they might get filled up or sick!

A:

Great points you make. It seems that the new sponsor of MLB is "milk and cookies." They must do a better job marketing their players


Q:

I have started my dog in Nosework, and he is pretty amazing even as a novice hunter. Is there a way to get him a "real" job like what you all do?

He is a blind/deaf rescue dog. So nose is all he has and he is very driven. :-)

A:

Hey Lenny huge fan! I think you were robbed of the MVP in '93. I have 2 questions for you:

  1. Do you wash your apples?

  2. Who's the most famous person in your cell phone?


Q:

Sounds like you've got a talented guy! We have two blind dogs (Ruger and Atlas-- you can meet them here: http://wd4c.org/ourdogs.html), but nobody deaf. Are you hoping to re-home your dog, or just do some work? If the former, you might check http://rescues2therescue.org and watch a video on how to screen the dog: https://youtu.be/eyAV2sAknlQ .

But if you're looking for work to do together, I wonder if the two of you could work out a method for doing search and rescue together... possibly on lead? Unfortunately, we don't teach classes yet.. maybe someday!

A:

To your first point, was I robbed of the MVP? Absolutely. Bonds hit 40 something home runs but they didn't make the playoffs.

  1. Don't get it....

  2. Jack Nicholson


Q:

No, he is all mine and not going anywhere. :-)

He is so smart, high energy and talented, I just wondered if there was a way for an "amateur" like me to use his superpower for a good and useful real-life application. I wondered about S&R....

I am just new to all these scent activities, but trying to learn how to help him be the best dog he can be!

A:

Hey Lenny, do you regret making this AMA? Does it mean you'll suck our dicks now?


Q:

He's lucky to have you! It's clear you're tuned in to him and his potential, so I'm sure you'll both to well. Good luck!!

A:

Regret it? I love it! Bring it!


Q:

All right, a nasty question: did you have dealings with PETA? What did you think about them?

A:

Hey, Lenny you been licking some pussy?


Q:

Our dogs LOVE the work they do, and anybody who has ever watched them do it agrees! We're also a little different from most organizations because our dogs live in homes with their handlers. A big part of that is for ethical reasons-- we want them to have nice working lives and long happy retirements-- but it's also because dogs and handlers that are well bonded and really know each other work well together, so they're more effective too. Finally, many of the dogs that end up working for us would have been euthanized had they not come to us (Sara, the yellow lab mix at the end of this video was 20 minutes from being put down when a volunteer saved her: https://www.facebook.com/ShelterMeTV/videos/1411675875572299/

A:

The answer to this question is not as simple as it seems. First there's a slot and it has to be as close to 180 degrees as possible. Then you have the odor process. Once she's been cleared, I take them to a place they have never been and they continue to want to go back. Because that's who I am. I get women off.


Q:

What a coincidence, I recently decided I want to be a Conservation Officer and eventually be a K-9 unit. I'm in Canada but in America, how long do people typically work as Conservation officers before they get a chance to advance into such a position? What does the dogs training entail? Do you teach them how to track animals or are they more so looking for people? And what breed best suits the position?

A:

Hey Lenny! It's great to see you on here. What was the biggest point you were tying to make in writing your book? And will you suck our dicks?


Q:

Great to hear you're interested in this work! We work closely with Alberta's invasive species program-- here's a video--https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ok5PBe1OLfY perhaps you can reach out and observe, or maybe even intern for, that program! As you'll see from our "pack" page, almost all breeds can do the work http://wd4c.org/ourdogs.html Good luck in your career and keep in touch!

A:

I've was asked to write a book numerous times, I wasn't ready to put it out there, but after what I went through, I really just wanted to put the truth out there to let the American people know what really happened.

Bottom line, it's a book about a baseball player, but not a book about baseball per say se (thanks u/nano2nd), it's a book about life.


Q:

What exactly do the dogs detect? And how? Is it similar to police dogs detecting drugs in a car by using smell?

A:

Hey Lenny! Here's a good question, how much money would you be willing pay to suck our dicks?


Q:

It's very similar-- in fact a lot of our work these days is law enforcement. They detect whatever we train them to. From the scats of threatened and endangered species, to noxious weeds, and nowadays to guns and ammunition, ivory, rhino horn, and even pangolin scales. Here's a cool video that the folks at http://shelterme.tv made: https://www.facebook.com/ShelterMeTV/videos/1411675875572299/

A:

As much as you want, and you know? I'm selling dreams.


Q:

Wow! That's really amazing. The nose of a dog is truly a master sense lol. Go get 'em puppers!!☺

A:

Lenny, who had the biggest dick you ever sucked? When and where did you suck it?


Q:

Thanks!

A:

Randy Johnson, '95 All-Star game against him. I felt like I was hitting off a Loch Ness monster.


Q:

This sounds like a great organisation (I wasn't aware of it until this IAmA), have the dogs had a major impact on hunting down poachers, over the usual park wardens tracking them down, or even preventing poaching?

A:

If you were given 30 minutes with Robin Quivers, how many times would you make her orgasm?


Q:

Yes! The dogs work directly with the local wildlife authorities, so they enhance their existing operations. Seizing trafficked ivory or bushmeat or other wildlife products is a big part of their work, but we are especially proud that they seize guns and ammunition BEFORE animals get poached. They've taken scores of guns out of circulation and prevented hundreds of elephants and rhino and other species from being killed. We're very proud of them!!

A:

You see, I'm an artist, similar to Picasso. There's only one painting at a time, only one great piece of artwork at a time, meaning, if you're gonna do it right, 30 minutes just ain't enough.


Q:

What is your favorite named pup? and why?

A:

Lenny,

I know Big Cat is a big fan, would ever consider letting him fuck you in the ass?

I've heard everyone that has paid you to suck their dick highly recommends you, even the people who said they used to hate you. Why do you think that is?


Q:

Ooohh... Hard one: I have multiple favorites-- Sara (the yellow-lab cross, who comes in near the end of this video: https://www.facebook.com/ShelterMeTV/videos/1411675875572299/ ) is a live wire. She was a classic 'out of control' and 'crazy' pup when she came to us, but now she's happy and disciplined and (mostly) under control as she saves rhinos and elephants and other African wildlife.

I'm also partial to diesel (http://wd4c.org/diesel.html) because--full disclosure-- he reminds me of my personal (non-working) dog! He has the same serious and earnest quality about him. You can check out a video of Diesel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ok5PBe1OLfY.

And here's the list of all our dogs http://wd4c.org/ourdogs.html Who is YOUR favorite?

A:

Of course, it's so cool catching a fan.

Second part, because I gave them their money's worth, by playing the game hard and right. and that transcends the hate.


Q:

Do you use operant conditioning to help train your puppers? I'm starting to train my dog as much as I can to become a service dog for myself (I will get professional help for training) but wanted to try and get some things down with her while I can. Any suggestions? Love seeing pups having such important jobs like this!

A:

We are committed to positive rewards for training. Our dogs are all VERY toy motivated, so the trick is figuring out exactly what they love (e.g. Pepin is crazy for a tug, but Ruger loves the squishey WestPaw toys, etc.) and then linking that to successful work. With the rise of agility training and scentwork and noseworks, there are a lot of great trainers out there, so I'm sure yo and your dog will be successful. Good luck to you both!


Q:

Are you looking to expand at all to other states?

A:

We're always looking for new projects! If you know of other places where there's a need, please feel free to send folks our way or give them our coordinates!


Q:

Is there anything like this in Canada?

A:

Yes!! Alberta has a spectacular program. Check them out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ok5PBe1OLfY Full disclosure: we helped set up that program, but they're doing awesome stuff on their own. We're also working with Blanding's turtles too:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6hsyycX4kw


Q:

This is amazing! I saw you said that the founders had backgrounds in zoology and wildlife biology, but how did they get the idea for this particular project?

A:

Back in the 90s, the founders were all working with wildlife and recognizing the difficulties, expense, and risk of capturing animals. That was about the time that it became possible to get DNA from feces (or "scats"), so they teamed up with colleagues to find a better way to find lots of scat. It turned out that dogs were not only good at finding scats, but also very good at discriminating the scats of different species, which was great, because nobody wasted their lab budget trying to get grizzly DNA from a black bear scat, or mountain lion DNA from a coyote scat. 20 years later, here we are, still using dogs for carnivore scats, but now also finding invasive weeds, invertebrates, aquatic contaminants and doing law enforcement!


Q:

As a vegan animal advocate who volunteers in a local shelter - LOVE THIS. Thank you for all you do! Now, to my questions: What is your background? How did you get into this work and did you already have experience training dogs?

A:

Thanks for the support! You can get directly involved through your shelter and the Rescues to the Rescue program: http://www.rescues2therescue.org/ All 4 of our founders had backgrounds in biology and dog training. Nowadays our new handlers often have degrees in anthrozoology, and it helps to have some knowledge of wildlife biology. Good luck!! It's great work.