actorartathleteauthorbizcrimecrosspostcustomerservicedirectoredufoodgaminghealthjournalistmedicalmilmodpostmunimusicnewsworthynonprofitotherphilpolretailscispecialisedspecializedtechtourismtravelunique

Request[AMA Request] Anonymous U.S. Senator

Jun 27th 2017 by GryphonMane • 28 Questions • 570 Points

I'm going to be on The Nasty Show as part of the Just For Laughs festival in Montreal - doing 11 shows from July 19th to 29th as part of a killer lineup of Godfrey, Yamaneika, Big Jay Oakerson, Jimmy Carr and hosted by Ari Shaffir

Proooooof http://imgur.com/a/terxL

Buy tickets here: http://www.hahaha.com/en/show/nasty-show-0

Q:

How does one provide proof of position in the face of anonymity?

A:

When you eat a steak does it also make you crave cock?


Q:

Not sure what the mod protocols are. Maybe the senator would be willing to provide some sort of proof to mods?

A:

Not anymore


Q:

Maybe an ex-senator?

A:

Do you feel you look like more of an albino orca, Lebanese house maiden, or morbidly obese Mexican?


Q:

Good idea!

A:

I knew this was a bad idea but #2, a lebanese house maiden


Q:

Hi Bobby, #Big fan! In Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, what messages were those aliens sending you?

A:

I just spit my water out


Q:

Hi Bobby, I love you on the Chip Chipperson Podacast! Have you ever thought about doing stand up comedy?

A:

No. That's a homerun you cock sucka


Q:

If you had to pick one cast member from MTV's Jackass to have sex with your wife while you watch, who would it be and why?

A:

Johnny Knoxville, cause I know his dick's broken


Q:

Would you rather be fat and dying or skinny with aids?

A:

Both


Q:

*would you rather be yourself or Jim Norton

A:

See above


Q:

Do you get hard looking at sinks?

A:

The right sink


Q:

Do you think it's to late to change your characters name on SDRR to Lards Ulrich?

A:

You're too wordy. Have someone punch that up and get back, there's something there


Q:

how's your knee man?

A:

I broke my knee dude


Q:

Yeah, how's your knee dude?

A:

I broke my knee dude, it's doing fine


Q:

Do you really need 12 open mic comics on the same podcast?

A:

First of all, no. Second of all, I only have 3 comics on - 3 limit.

They're not open mics, they're middlers


Q:

How hot does magnesium burn?

A:

First off, how do you spell magnesium. But if I were to guess approximately 3100 degrees celsius


Q:

Is this your year? Are you finally going to make it?

A:

No, absolutely not


Q:

Hi Bobby. I hope the answer to this is yes. Do you ever think about your miserable childhood and how your mother literally gave you away and get so sad that you eat even though you aren't hungry?

A:

Your wish is granted. Yes


Q:

Is there a correlation between rising ocean levels and your wading in the shallows?

A:

Fb fans are awesome, reddit fans are trolls with different names. I get it, it's a moon joke. I'm as big as a planet, I get it


Q:

Who were you more scared to sit next to at the Cellar table, Patrice or Colin?

A:

Patrice cause he's dead


Q:

Who is the next BIG comedian to die, and why is it Artie Lange?

A:

I love Artie I would never say that to him. Keep all the mean shit to me you piece of gaaaarbage


Q:

I'm sure you've gained a lot of new fans here. My question is, is the festival exclusively for laughs, or is that just a marketing ploy?

A:

That was too intelligent of a joke for me, dumb it down stupid


Q:

You're a delightfully lovable creep, Bobby. What was the meanest thing you said about Vos at the roast the other night?

A:

Bonnie was dating Nathan Fillion from Castle and Firefly, and she dumped him and ended up marrying Vos. I put up a photo on the big screen of Fillion and read his credits. Firefly, Guardians of the Galaxy and a network ABC show with 170 episodes, 100,000 an episode

Then I read Vos' that started with Maxwell's and Poughkeepsie - what a bad choice she made


Q:

What was that weird noise you made getting out of the car that one time?

A:

I don't know what that was, that was so weird


Q:

Hi Bobby. I'm a huge fan and respect you as a human being. My wife is terminally sick and my family is having a really hard time coping. Do you have any words of encouragement?

A:

I hope your fat wife dies. No I'm sorry, scratch that, I hope your whole family dies


Q:

Do you actually do bang bangs in real life and if so what is your favorite cuisine pairing?

A:

Yes unfortunately I have, it would have to be dinner then chinese


Q:

Were you drawing from personal experience with your scene in Sirens? It all seemed so real

A:

Oh when I had the coke bottle stuck in my ass. No I've never used a coke bottle


Q:

what do you think it will take to leave your child without a father?

A:

Lie - eggs whites with orange slices

Truth - two eggs sandwiches and a cuban cigar


Q:

How long does it take you to scrape the barnacles off your face every morning?

A:

I get it it's a whale joke but too hacky, try harder


Q:

Why do you love food more than your child?

A:

Stop with the fucking, stop getting real, don't make statements. Either be funny or fuck yourself


Q:

Will you dress up as Victor, the Just for Laughs mascot?

A:

I think I already am. I look very similar right now. Just paint me green and take my clothes off