Oct 5th 2017 by MadnessByDesign • 19 Questions • 134 Points
My short bio: I wrote down my experience Tuesday morning to capture the details while they were still vivid and fresh.
A lot of friends and strangers, both those whom were there and those who weren't said that it helped them in different ways.
We're all going to deal with this in our own ways. So far, I've felt that it's tough to talk about or write down, but afterwards I feel slightly less terrible.
Sitting in my Woodland Hills apartment while my girlfriend Jamie is sleeping. Not doing much to spend my time right now, so I figured I'd try and have a discussion.
Hoping this may help with the mental health process, as well as potentially help others.
What were your thoughts while it was happening? I've heard soldiers say that they don't think about risks in the heat of the moment, but they realize how terrifying a moment was after the adrenaline goes away. Is that true? That in the moment your instincts are about survival over fear?
That is a completely apt description, when the bullets start flying the adrenaline kicks in and even though in a deep level you know you're in danger it's not something you have time to process. Once the adrenaline started to subside a few hours later, only then were we able to being to acknowledge just what happened.
Keep in mind, we had zero idea if there was a single shooter or multiple. The echo, reverb, bounce of the bullets made it extremely hard to echo-locate. I wrote a lot of this down in the first IMGUR link https://imgur.com/gallery/KKfSp but I get it if no one reads it, it's a long read.
If you watch a lot of different videos from concert goers though, you'll realize that they stayed put for 5-10 mins into the shooting inside the venue. Staying put and debating 'is that even gun fire?'. From >300 yards away, for those who haven't found themselves in that situation or at least watched body cam footage from Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria or other. It wouldn't necessarily being recognizable.
During the 3rd volley is when we hit the ground, where I jumped on top of the girls. There were only 2 moments in the event where I thought about dying. This was the first, and I thought to myself "Well if I'm going to die, this isn't the worst way to do it...attempting to shield friends". Later in the night we got trapped in a small hotel room and there was a surge in panic that a shooter was entering the lobby. Once trapped there, the second thought was "This is going to be a shit way to die, I don't want to die like this. Sitting ducks, fish in a barrel"
What has surprised you most about news coverage of this tragedy? What do you think they are missing/under-reporting, or conversely, what do they seem to be placing an unjustifiably high emphasis on?
ehhh, I've been asked by a few friends similar questions. Leading into false flag territory, which correct me if I'm wrong is the idea that everything we're told by the media isn't the full picture.
Fact is we aren't told everything because the investigation is ongoing. The police/FBI won't reveal camera footage or certain details in order to not dilute their own investigation. We're on reddit, a lot of people here have done their internet sleuthing after similar atrocities and how often do they actually help and not end up with innocent people completely fucked in different capacities.
Anyways, back to the main question.
I can't wait to find out more, I read all the articles, I read all the reports, I talk to my friends who were there with me. I want more information. I think the media is reporting the information they have and any reputable media should report w/ sources.
I've seen the youtube videos, the conspiracy theories, the alternate timelines and alternate ideas of what happened. So far I haven't seen a single one that I agree with. I'll wait until I have solid video/audio or official evidence that anything else occurred that we don't know.
Even Jamies Mom came over with comfort food every night since we got home. She leans pretty far right and is more likely to watch the Alex Jones or other kind of 'far out there' media types. I understand the process, people who are looking for clues and answers are doing the same thing I am. Problem is, they're falling for the Texas Bullseye theory dilemma. A guy shoots up the side of the barn, then walks over and paints a bullseye around a tight grouping of bullets. It's drawing conclusions from incomplete data or false data.
I'll be candid and say that yes, 100% during the event I thought there were multiple shooters. Now that we have more information, I understand it wasn't the case (until proven otherwise). There's no benefit of holding back that kind of information from the public.
Then again, shit if I know. We'll just wait and see, I want everyone involved to get some sort of closure to find out why this happened.
It's a pivotal moment in life, a moment that comes around so rarely. We can point to this point in time and see everything before Route 91 massacre and then everything afterwards is post-event.
It's the topic du jour during and after these events isn't it. in the last 2 pages of my account that I wrote down https://imgur.com/gallery/KKfSp you'll find that I did get my hands on a small 9mm pistol.
Here's the thing though, rightwing, leftwing. I think everyone should think for themselves and use their best judgement. I don't believe in following a party and agreeing with everything they stand for. I lean left, my mom is a lesbian, I'm from Canada and I work in the video game industry. However, there are lots of things on the right side of the spectrum that I agree with as well.
To get to your question though, I think there is ton of misinformation on both sides of the gun control debate. The silencer debate is silly in my somewhat un-educated mind. To my knowledge they're more for the hearing quality of the shooter, but the gun fire is still loud as fuck. Furthermore it doesn't benefit the range, accuracy or heat of the barrel so it's an argument on both sides that is full of half truths, somewhat flawed logic and this is a very divided nation.
I hope for gun control that can regulate the industry tighter. I think there are a lot of gun control laws that are completely laughable that anyone can bypass. A lot of half measures and nonsense.
At the same time, I've taken a few pistol and rifle classes. I'm not a marksman, I barely would say that I'm trained. I also enjoy the rare ocassion going out to the desert here in California and firing off some rifles at tamarack or shotgunning skeet.
So..that was a long winded response to your question that I kind of skirted around. It's a tough issue. I know for comparable 1st world nations, the number of people murdered by guns is much higher in the states than elsewhere. I don't have the answers, I can't point out whats right or wrong. And I'll be honest, I'm not someone that people should look to for guidance because I'm not a professional nor have I done extensive scientific reading on the subject. I would love to read hard peer reviewed scientific papers that can point us all in the right direction.
I'll leave the talking heads on TV and youtube to do their thing, but on all sides they're mostly full of shit and pandering to their position/base.
One of my college professors told me a story once about a time when he was crossing the street with his girlfriend and a driver on his phone hit them in the crosswalk. She broke her pelvis, and I'm not sure exactly what happened to him.. something with his back.
He said "kids, if you ever go through an experience like that with a significant other, you just break up with them. It's the shitty sad truth."
It sounded odd to me at the time, but I'm glad you can confirm it's not true.
(Your experience was obviously far more severe than this but I'm sure you get the point)
Damn, that is some intense advice from the ole' Prof.
Things would be incredibly more difficult if only one of us went through it and the other wasn't entirely able to comfort or understand everything that is happening.
For Jamie and I, we're closer than ever. Been together 5.5 years, and both of us have an urge to just go get hitched at the Santa Barbara courthouse. Why wait, we're best friends and are ready.
Then, I pump the brakes and realize that Jamie deserves to have a happy wedding not overshadowed by this massacre. Gameplan was always to get her through College this December before making the next step.