actorartathleteauthorbizcrimecrosspostcustomerservicedirectoredufoodgaminghealthjournalistmedicalmilmodpostmunimusicnewsworthynonprofitotherphilpolretailscispecialisedspecializedtechtourismtravelunique

I'm Karley Sciortino of Viceland's SLUTEVER. I've been a sex writer on the quest for slutty enlightenment for the past decade. I'm here to answer any and all of your questions for Valentine's Day—the weirder the better. Ask away!

Feb 14th 2018 by KarleySlutever • 27 Questions • 738 Points

Through a series of adventures, I've been attempting to demystify sexuality, while challenging outdated ideas about sex, gender, identity, and love... all while putting myself at the center of the action. From sex robots, to dragon dildos, to the emerging industry of marijuana pleasure products (aka "weed lube"), SLUTEVER investigates intimacy in a fun, sex-positive and immersive way. The goal is for everyone to learn and LOL simultaneously :)

So: I'm here to answer your burning questions about love, sex, and relationships—just in time for Valentine's Day. Ask away!

You can episode 1 watch my show SLUTEVER now, for free, or buy my (slutty) book of the same name :)

Proof: https://twitter.com/Slutever/status/963527927584382976

Q:

What is one thing that one gender usually is open to sexually that the other gender really should try ?

A:

I think men should be more open to the idea of being submissive sexually—not just for the woman's sake, but because people can get a lot out of submission. we mostly assume that in bed, the man is dominant and the woman is submissive. but like... isn't that exhausting for the man? to feel like he can never submit to his partner and be vulnerable? also being submissive is fun bc you get to relax and just lie the fuck down while the other person does the work lol. also it's fun to switch it up sometimes! im so attracted to men who are comfortable enough in their masculinity to role play and be spanked or whatever!


Q:

What is the most Hardcore/ Sluttiest thing you've ever done? Did it make the "regular courses" less "tasty"?

A:

Hmm... once I had sex with 5 people in one day, which I write about in my new book (link up top). lol--a very productive saturday! that was a special case because it involved multiple group sex situations over the course of 24 hours, but still... impressive? insane? probably both. and no i dont think being hardcore makes "normal" sex less appealing. i still think the most appealing sex is when im able to truly connect and have true intimacy with someone, which is usually the hardest type of sex to find, funnily enough!


Q:

Related question: what are your thoughts on pegging? Is it having a moment, or does is that only my perception from watching too much Broad City?

A:

This is such a great question. I definitely think there is a double standard here, and that we think it's "hot" and "exploratory" and even "natural" for a woman to want to experiment with other women—we are more open to the idea of female bisexual being "a thing"—but with men, we assume even one blow-job from another dude makes them gay. it's not cool. In terms of research into sexuality, it's been difficult to know whether men are truly less bisexual than women or if it's just cultural conditioning. But i would say personally that I am very into bisexual men! I think a man who is bi means he's very comfortable in his sexuality and masculinity and that's hot! I've dated multiple bi guys.


Q:

When it comes to dating, when do you think is the appropriate time to mention I like having my ass licked?

A:

r/karleysciortino

hmm... maybe when the other person is going down on u bc they're already in the area so its really convenient


Q:

Karley, thanks for your work. Where do you get your ideas for Slutever? Do they come to you? Are they just things you find interesting or particularly titillating? Also, why do you think high-powered women are so interested in being dominated? Thanks!

A:

Thanks! I mainly write about things that I'm interested and want to try myself--from sex parties to weed lube to being fucked by those weirdly popular dragon dildos (there's an episode about those later in this season of Slutever on Viceland :)) And I think high powered women want to be dommed because when you're being a boss all day it's nice to just lay the fuck down and have someone else do all the work :)


Q:

Did you know you have your own subreddit? r/karleysciortino

A:

omg i didn't! Should I read it? I love hate comments. Will I find a wealth of hate comments there? :)


Q:

Your style is killer! I follow you on both Twitter and Instagram. I dress in a relatively similar way as you with the coquettish/girlish buttoned-up cardigan thing. What fashion and beauty tips do you have? Where do you shop? What motivates your style? Fave beauty products? How does your style relate to your sexuality?

A:

Thanks! I like to think of my style as "Senator's wife on her way to a sex party" :) I love to shop on the Real Real, that consignment website. I love style that has humor in it, really. im so drawn to very loud clothing--when i see other people who look like they really dressed up, and took a style risk, it puts a smile on my face, so i try my best to do the same. As style refs I love Elle Woods, Samantha from SATC, also all the characters in Gregg Araki movies, Clueless and Heathers (duh), 90s Versace, vintage Escada, power suits, etc


Q:

Do you prefer to spit or swallow?

A:

swallow--its only polite!


Q:

I've always wanted to know this - Did you fuck Hamilton Morris?

A:

He was my boyfriend for over two years so yes lol


Q:

Hey Karley! We're name twins. Do you have any advice for someone who wants to be as confident with sex as you? I love sex, but I never seem to feel like I'm the sex goddess I want to be.

A:

love our name :) genuinely i think i feel most confident when im with a sexual partner who makes me feel safe and uninhibited--someone who's not squeamish or uptight, who makes me feel like i can really let go, and that they won't freak out and get weird if something gets awkward, ya know? and i think that type of sexual personality is contagious--like if you're giving out 'up for anything, sexually resilient' vibes, your partner is more likely to return them. confidence comes from feeling comfortable, i think. Also its just important to remember that its just SEX. its supposed to be fun, silly, clumsy, etc. it nice to remind ourselves not to take it so fucking seriously


Q:

What are your thoughts on your no budget porn videos being on the internet now that you're more 'famous'? And are there any more? Hopefully.

A:

lol "budget porn." I don't mind! I like them. I'm generally lucky I think in that I don't feel regret very often. I'm sure when I'm older I'll be happy to have videos lingering around online of my boobs before they got super saggy! Also I just don't think being naked is that big of a deal tbh


Q:

Do you know if/when slutever s2 will be available in the UK? I loved season one!

A:

Thank you! It will be available in a few months—I'm pretty sure in May :)


Q:

As a writer about sex and sexy topics, I'm curious how you would describe getting spanked so good you turned italian

A:

hmm idk what that means but ive been italian my whole life, both pre and post spanking :)


Q:

In an interview you've said you liked Joe Rogan's podcast even though you're sure his audience is full of bros and on Instagram you showed you got Jordan Peterson's new book. Have your friends who lean more to the left given you grief about such things?

A:

Yeah i get shit. I've always been attracted to the more dissenting voices on the Left--I love Rogan, Camille Paglia, Jordan Peterson. I feel like, often, the Left really lacks rational, strong voices who speak out against the self-victimization and the increasing insanity of PC culture. Also Peterson gets labeled as anti-trans, but literally anyone who's actually read/listened to ANYTHING he has to say would learn in one second that that's not true--he's just been defending free speech, and doesn't believe people should be able to be put in jail for not using someone's preferred gender pronoun (just like we shouldn't be put in jail for calling someone an asshole)


Q:

What's your thoughts on pubic/body hair?

A:

Hey! I'm neutral! I would say I do prefer that people do some "management" down there, if they expect me to spend any time down there, lol. Like, I don't want to stick my tongue into an untamed jungle. But beyond that I don't really have an opinion. Oh and p.s., I don't think growing out your armpit hair makes you more feminist than anyone else, lol


Q:

Can you take my virginity?

A:

Lol... I can't but I hope you find a generous slut who will fuck you senseless.


Q:

So, in a way, Donald Trump does represent the common person. Weird.

A:

he's part of the zeitgeist at least LOL


Q:

Do you have plans to cover sex and sexuality in poor nations or even just among impoverished Americans who are more likely to be women of color and often have different views on sex and sexuality, and experience/perform gender differently?

Vice and Vogue are often criticized for supporting only a bougie white woman's version of feminism. I'm wondering if you're taking steps to avoid that with your show.

A:

We definitely want and try our best to make the show as inclusive as possible and to have voices from people of different races and genders. The show is only shot domestically, but i hope we did an OK job including the sexualities of people outside of just white girls! As for my Vogue column, that is more complicated because it's a personal column that mainly discusses my own sex life and relationships, but in terms of who I interview I always try to get the perspectives of people of color and queer people. but i can always do better, of course


Q:

Hi Karley! I was wondering if you have any advice for someone who wants to do a bit of research in the porn industry/ people consumption of porn. I know these can be private or sensitive subject so I'm wondering how you approach people about interviewing them?

I know my question isn't about love sex or relationships but I admire your work!

A:

i think if u are curious and sex positive, and if u make that clear when approaching people for interviews, many porn performers will want to talk to u, because they want to be active in creating a public narrative that destigmatizes their work


Q:

Aside from being awesome and doing an AMA, what are your V-day plans?? 💞

A:

I think I'm going to the movies with my boyfriend. I don't care that much about v-day tbh. Also episode 4 of Slutever airs tonight at 10pm so i SHOULD be watching that but i dont have a fucking TV lol


Q:

Hi Karley! I loved the section in your book about sugaring. I've tried to dabble in sugaring and have gone on some dates, but I've had a lot of trouble getting myself to feel confident or safe. You do a great job of describing how sugaring is part of life for confident and driven women, and it's not always ending in murder. And the men who purchase sex aren't "hopeless losers" either. But some of the stigmas have some truth to them and do you think that sugaring falls something on the spectrum between empowering and shameful? I think after messages and verbal comments of men saying belittling things to me because they think they can say whatever they want if they "paid" for you, can I still feel empowered through it?

A:

I think it's empowering if you enjoy it. i dont think sugaring if for everyone. (just like no type of sex is for everyone). but my advice is like... if a guy says belittling things to u, just leave. if a guy needs to belittle u it means he has low self esteem. like what type of tragic loser needs to belittle a woman he's paying? a man who hates women—probably because he resents women for not giving him attention. i think just remember that there will always be trolls, but trolls are fucking tragic, and just focus on trying to find someone u like to hang with and ignore the rest of the losers


Q:

first, i love your vision that folks should be sexual and comfortable with being sexual. thanks for talking about sex. in a recent clip of yours, you advocated for people to make friends with "prostitutes" to become better people themselves. my questions: do you prefer the term prostitute to sex worker? if so, why? do you have friends who are sex workers, and can you speak a little bit about the emotional labor they go through on a day-to-day basis?

A:

I know sex worker is more PC, but sometimes i like the term prostitute (or whore etc) because it has more punch—it's being said with a tinge of irony, or for the purpose of provocation. i was a sex worker for a while (through a sugar daddy website) which i talk about in detail in my book SLUTEVER (link up top) and i have many friends who are in the sex industry. i love sex workers bc their attitudes about sex are so practical--they're so sexually strong, they're not fragile, they're not VICTIMS. they have a sense of humor about sex. they understand that sex can be fun but that it can also be transactional, and that an awkward or boring or shitty sexual experience doesn't mean that they're broken--it can even be something to laugh about! i also write in the book that sex work can be fun and glam at times but its essentially a form of labor--like any service industry position


Q:

I am a big fan and have followed your blog since the early days. I wanna know, do you think it is worth it to have sex with my boyfriend who has herpes? I know there are risks even with protection, and I don't wanna be scarred by the stigma for life. I also am sick of being asexual in my relationship. Follow up question: do you think at 27 I am too old to move to London and find a squat to live in?

A:

Hey! I think you should talk to your dr and having him visit a health professional as well. if he gets on meds he can operate at a place where the amount of the virus in his system is low enough that, with using condoms, you will be at low risk. i dont think herpes is the end of the world, but u should def talk to a dr about making sure that when u do have sex (if u decide to) u protect yourself as much as u can.

also... hmm 27. idk maybe? lol


Q:

[deleted]

A:

you should try "switching" - she's dominant one time, and you the next.


Q:

Hi Karley, thank you for doing this AMA!

What has been your experience with exhibitionism? If someone has interest, but hasn't gotten into it yet, what are some best practices that can keep them safe and feeling sexy at the same time?

A:

hey! ive worked out through going to sex parties that im not an exhibitionist--but i worked that out because i was like "wow a sex party is the perfect place for an exhibitionist, hence why i feel so awkward!" i think u should look into kink parties or sex parties in your area bc there u can have a build in audience!


Q:

Do you plan on doing a book tour?

A:

im doing another reading in nyc in late march but other than that no :(


Q:

how do you navigate play instances in which rape fantasies are being explored? is there a specific line/boundary you aren’t willing to cross regardless of pre scene talks?

A:

i think exploring rape fantasies is really healthy and as long as u have a safe word, and youre with someone u trust, there's not really anything to lose! the only boundary should be the line where u no longer feel comfortable